I really wish that obeyed the doctor's at MHS when they told me to slow down on the sports because my neck and back are so tight and I know that I'll need the botox. It hurts when the doctor is putting into my muscles but after wards it feels allot better and my body isn't so tight, my legs are tight too and I miss walking on my walker but FHS took pt away from me and I got weaker and now I'm stuck like this. I put these ice bottles behind my back and it lets the blood flow and sometimes it hurts but it helps. My mom always says "how can you stand putting ice behind there?" I say "I need it". I was telling her that I wish that I obeyed the doctors at MHS and she just walked away and didn't say much to me, I really wish that I could talk to her about my body but she doesn't like to hear it. So I talk to Dawn instead and Dawn understands me because she has the same disabilities as I do, I am so thankful we met at camp in 2006. Dawn helped me when Suvi first go engaged and last Saturday when I was upset and I was crying she was able to stop me from crying.If Stephanie can drive to Chris's than she can drive to Dawn's apartment, and we can sleep over there one night and come back late on a Saturday night. I would take the train but my seizure's and I wouldn't want to be on the train and have one, when I have one I need someone to say my name. It's fine going around Fitchburg but going to Dawn's is a two hour trip. I wish my mom would also come sit in my room to help me stop my seizure's.
Everyone thinks that Lacy is so cute, and she really is. On Monday when we went to dairy queen the lady said "oh my goodness look at those big ears!" I always tell her if her ears were any bigger she could fly. At nights we got to give her a cookie because otherwise she won't move and when my mom puts in bed she needs to watch her and when my mom or Stephanie takes me out of bed she needs to watch them. When God was making her he probably said "Lacy, you're going to help a young lady out she's got a colostomy and humans can't get her to accept it so you're going to help her and when she's feeling sad you make her happy" and that morning that she ran to Mary's and I held her she wagged her tail and got excited and that day my whole life changed.
Today Chris the wheelchair guy called me and he aid "we need to set a time up for you to be evaluated for your new power chair" when he said that the tears came because apart of me doesn't want the new power chair because that means I am getting weaker and it frustrates me. When I got the power chair that I am in now I remember I was so upset when they put me in it, I wanted to get out of there fast and when I was stuck in it I told Chris that I didn't like him and he said "you don't need to like me". I wish that FHS never took pt away then I wouldn't be this tight, my right leg is always spasming and so is my back. But I can allot I can read, blog, have fun, go out, go to barns and noble. There is going to be thunder and lightening on Saturday and Sunday so tomorrow I will go to barns and noble and fill out an application. On Saturday I am going to get my iPhone and I want to earn some extra cash so that I can still pay for my own snacks my mom doesn't like me eatting all the snacks that I do she told me last Monday that their going to ruin my teeth. But I really don't eat that much anymore, because of stress and all these other things.
On my facebook there are all these young girls who are getting married and they are 25,26, such like Suvi she has her whole life and she had to get married. Brad doesn't believe in God and he likes to drink and I know if my dad was alive I don't think that they would have gotten married. Pastor Phil at the Lutheran church he wouldn't marry Suvi or Brad because they were living together. But I'd rather date a few wrong guys such as Bryan, Dave, Chris and Justin than to find the one you're going to be with for the rest of your life. My friend Erin from middle school she married a woman and they had a baby, it's like what is this world coming too? In my town there are so many drug dealers and it's sad and crazy you see them drinking and doing all these drugs. When I go down to the library I always need to have my music because if I don't than someone will ask me "do you have your medications on you?" But getting back to all these young girls getting married so early in life, sometimes I wonder if Suvi got married because my two older sisters are married. Brad doesn't want kids and Suvi does and I know that she could have done better than Brad but that's her choice. I asked Stephanie if she can find me a good boyfriend, when I get evaluated for my new chair it would help if I had a boyfriend there or someone who liked me and I liked them back. Al was going to come, but he doesn't want to be my stand in dad because I won't go swimming but I do allot more than allot of disabled people do. I read, and I go shopping and I stick up for myself but most of all I believe in myself that I can make a difference in this world.
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