I went to barns and noble tonight

I like how I am living again I don't feel disabled and I am out, and hopefully dds can get me more pca hours and a job. I need to start living I am 28 years old and I need to live. I can't always live in hospitals and go to these appointments all the time I need a life too, everyone else has a life. I know my mom probably doesn't like the fact that I am going to  the rabbit hole tonight but there is nothing to do here. She goes upstairs watches the Finnish news with Jorma and I am always down here alone. So I need to start living and if dds can get me a job at a group home or a day program so that I can earn some extra cash that would be good too :). I can't believe it's end of summer, time to put away the summer clothes and get the winter ones out. I love getting into a nice hoddie sweat shirt at nights and watch a good movie. Now that I can watch a movie on my computer that's what I can do, I will turn off all my lights and shut the door and watch a movie. Last summer my mom did buy me a TV but she won't give me the extra channels she has them out in the living room and they have it upstairs I wouldn't mind having my TV if I could have the extra channels. But I can watch the show's on my computer it's the same thing so I am fine with that too :)

I am excited about tonight, another date. It's funny how God works, Matt wasn't even supposed to go to Market Basket last Thursday and I wasn't supposed to go until 12. When I texted Stephanie and said "I just saw Matt" she couldn't believe it. I almost jumped out of my chair when I saw him too, I am excited to go to Boston. Stephanie said that we're going to have to go on double dates and go have fun and live :). I couldn't be any happier than I am right now. When I am around him I forget that I am disabled and I need that too :), I still can't believe that I am going on another date. I will bring my camera and I will have someone take a picture of Matt and I, and I will send it to CVS, this weekend is going to fly by. Tomorrow I am going to barns and noble and Sunday is the Finnish fair, I love the Finnish fair they have so good chocolate and Finnish chocolate is so much better than American chocolate it's more rich. I told Stephanie that she needs to try it, my two nieces are going to make duck tape bracelets and I am going to be selling my quote books and bracelets that I've made in the past. My mom makes Finnish coffee bread and every one loves it there. I will take picture's of that too :) I will have allot of pictures. Stephanie is going to get me all dressed up for my date and going to do my hair and make up. I am happy that I do get to live and not be stuck here all the time that gets boring. God gave me a life I've been wanting a boyfriend and a life so he gave me both and I am very happy that he gave me both, I won't be focused on my disabilities, pain, and every thing else that I go through in my life :)

I wasn't able to make it to the rabbit hole because Matt had to baby sit, so I went to barns and noble. I had a very long but good day :). Tomorrow after Stephanie leaves I will have her bring me to barns and noble again I like to look around and there is a park that I can go too and it's close to barns and noble. So I will bring drinks, my puzzle book, my ipod, and my book. I like when I have busy nights it makes it go by quicker. When I am just sitting at home I am more focused on what I can't do so I need to do things that I can do. It makes me feel good about myself and I forget that I am disabled too so that's another thing that I like too :). I am hoping that Ann my dds worker can get more pca hours and out of here too. I need to move out there is nothing to do here, my mom has her life and I need to start living so I need to move out. I know that she won't like the more pca hours but she doesn't do anything with me so I need the company too. I am praying that they could get more people in here at nights so when I do my quotes and bible verses I'll have something to do other than just sitting here alone. I like going to barns and noble it gives me something better to do than always sitting here all the time :). When I'm there all of my disabilities leave. I inspired someone tonight I was telling him that I am a born again Christian and how I lost my dad when I was 16 and how doctor's only gave him two years and he said "not in God's book" and he lived 8 and half years with it. But through his cancer he taught me how to live and how to trust God more than doctors :)

I am so thankful that the doctor put me on a strong pain medication at nights, I need it. As I've said before at MHS I over worked my back muscles and now I am paying the price for it. I wish I had listened but oh well I learned my lesson, on October 3rd I have a doctor's appointment to see the botox doctor. I am going to request it again as much as it hurts I need it. My back is so tight and it's always hurting and the only thing that works is the botox and strong pain medication. I also use to get trigger point shots so I am going to ask her if that would help my back too. I know that I will need a new wheelchair and I am going to request a on board charger that means all I need to do is carry a cord in my purse and have one in my room. I am so active that I need one, I go to barns and noble and hopefully I will get more pca hours and I am hoping that Ann my dds worker will find me a job at a group home or a day program and I'm going to ask her if I could get paid, I really want the iPhone. I can have my ims forwarded to my phone and I can check my face book and my email too so that will be good too. I want to be do something else than always sitting at home. I like to relax at home but Stephanie likes to be active so I will need to find a job that she can also come with me. I forget to drink and with my catheter I always need to be drinking, when I get into a good book that's when I forget to drink and that's when I get the uti's so I need to be drinking. My life isn't easy but I make it by with God's help and that's why if that movie gets made than I will inspire allot of people and I will bring Dale to it, in 2007 when my mom and Jorma went to Florida Dale left me with her friends daughter and we put "just married" on the back of her van and put toilet paper all over it too. When Dale see's me she doesn't tell me to behave because she knows that I don't know how to behave but I have clean fun :)