I am going on another date tomorrow :)

I am so happy right now, that I am going on all these dates with Matt. He wants to take me to Boston and watch movies and order pizza too. Yesterday when I came home from his house I had the biggest smile even as I'm typing this I have a huge smile. I guess we were meant to be together and I can text him at any time and he knows my past but we are going to forget about our past and move onto our future. We have so much in common, and what I thought was amazing was that he wasn't even going to Market Basket last Thursday and I wasn't supposed to go until 12. When I left his house he said "text me when you get home sweetie" so when I got home I did text him. My mom asked me when she was putting me in bed "how was your day?" I gave her a huge smile and said "it was good". When I was going back to my house I was saying "God I usually miss my dad but today I don't". One time when he's here I am going to have him read the bible to us and we can pick a verse off my wall and he can find it in the bible. He knew the Matt 7:7 verse and I just realized that his name was in that verse. It's amazing how God works all last week I've been wanting a boyfriend who lives close to me and a nice one, and Matt lives two minutes away from me. Tomorrow when we go on our date, I will have someone get a picture of us and I'll put it on here. I'll also take it to when I go to botox so that my mind will be focused on him and not the shots.

My mom keeps asking me about my new chair and I don't want to tell her that I've been putting it off because I know that it would upset her. I kind of don't want a new chair because it will be a pain to make it. In 2006 when Chris was making it, I told him "I don't like you" and he said "you don't need to like me". I remember that day going to make it I was so upset and I kept moving on  them for an hour, my mom of course left and I was alone. This time Stephanie is going to stay with me, another reason why I don't want another power chair is because I know that I'm getting weaker. I know my mom is going to have Stephanie call Chris and then they'll set it up and I will need to go there. I was telling Matt that I wish I had a rewind button and he said "we all wish we had one".

This afternoon I called my dds worker because I need another pca and more hours, Stephanie does all my showers and my laundry, changes my sheets and empties my trash. I know my mom won't like it but oh well because she only wants to do the easy things such as putting me in bed, taking me out of bed, doing my medications. On weekends she spends time with Jorma or talking on skype to Finland and I get stuck here. Tonight I said "tomorrow I am going to the rabbit hole" she said "tomorrow?" I need to live too I can't always be here and when I went on my date yesterday and Stephanie didn't do my shower right away she got mad. If she wants them done so much than she should do them but she's busy with Jorma, watching her nightly shows. I am hoping that Ann my dds worker can get more hours so that I can get more people so that Stephanie doesn't need to do every shower and do every thing it's not fair to her. My mom doesn't like to take me shopping personally I think it's Jorma who tells her "ignore her she doesn't need to come with us" he wants my mom all to himself but when it comes to my sisters he doesn't mind sharing her with them. But because I am different in their eyes they treat me different, I'm not different I'm just disabled but not in my head only in my legs. My mom was different when my dad was alive she was more compassionate and now all she really care's about is when my showers are done, my laundry, when my sheets have been changed. It hurts me how she would rather spend time with my sisters and Jorma and talking to Finland.

Tomorrow I am going to have Stephanie change my room around, I spend so much time in my room that once and while I need a change it would be different if my mom interacted with me but she won't. Tomorrow when Ann calls back, I am going to ask her if she found out how long the waiting list for shared living is. I need to start living and I know my mom didn't like how I went to the rabbit hole yesterday or tomorrow but I really like Matt and Dawn and Stephanie said "if he's asking you on all these dates than he likes you more than a friend" and I am so happy. Tomorrow night I will get a picture of us at the rabbit hole and I am happy that I am living and not always staying home, I'm still human and I still need to live as well. If my mom doesn't like that oh well, she lives so do my sisters. I like hanging out with Matt yesterday when I hung out with him I had fun and I forgot I was disabled so that was good :). I know my dad watches us and probably has a huge smile to his face and yesterday when I went on the date he probably said to him "want to watch something?" here "you can watch your daughter go on a date :)". I'm excited to go on another date tomorrow and it makes me feel human and I forget that I am disabled as well and I like that. Stephanie, her boyfriend Chad, Matt and I are going to Boston next month and I will have so much fun. This morning my mom said to Stephanie "Minna's happy" and Stephanie said "I know she is" I said "if I could jump I would". Last night when I went to sleep I said "thank you God for playing match maker" and he said "well in your blogs you've been asking me for a boyfriend who lives close and I am only giving you what you asked for". Matt remembers when I go into a spasm to keep me calm and to remind me to breath and , I was telling him that I need to get botox it hurts and I will get a picture with him and take it to botox and keep focused on the picture and Stephanie will talk more about him. It's not easy getting so many needles it hurts after so many needs but I will ask the doctor for some relaxant so that I won't remember the whole treatment.