I really hope that dds can get me out of here, last night my mom asked me "when are you going for your shower in the morning or afternoon?" I said "afternoon". It's easier for me to go for a shower later on in the day a month ago I made this pottery thing last Friday Stephanie and I went to see if it was ready and it wasn't and my mom kept going on about that when she was putting me to bed. I almost said to her "I am done living here, I can't please you. I am burnt out by you, you only care when my showers are done, my laundry, when my sheets are changed" I know that's going to come out once and I know she won't like it but oh well. I know that she won't like how I am calling dds and telling them what she really does, Stephanie is going to call the pca company and telling them that she's lying to the insurance. Stephanie isn't feeling good and if she doesn't come in today than my mom will need to do my shower and she won't like that as I said she only wants to do the easy things.
Yesterday when Stephanie and I were talking we were saying how Maiju is a busy body. She has 3 kids and yet she has time to call my doctor's and everyone. In 2008 when I was seeing Ellen Maiju would always call her and I wanted to say "get a life". In May 2008 I stopped seeing Ellen because I didn't want my family to always call her. It got annoying always have to hear it from Ellen "your family called". I would go to them and ask them "did you call Ellen?" they always said "no, she called us". Stephanie was out today but she'll be coming at 4 and I know that tomorrow she'll call the pca company. My trash is so full right now and my mom won't empty it, she won't do allot of things anymore and it's to bad. She only does the easy things. Today Jorma had a appointment at umass but he needed my mom to go with him and I wanted to say "you're 60 and you still need some one to go with you?" I am 28 and I go to all these paces myself". My mom won't move my bed or anything she says that Stephanie can do it".
Jorma went to Finland today so it's just my mom and I for a month it's going to be nice, now I don't need to see him walk around his boxers :), I told him to bring me back some Finnish chocolate too. I am a chocolate queen, my dad always called me that. So the name stuck and it probably will always stick. Stephanie and Dale they both said that they are going to have a very long talk with him when they get up to heaven. He will probably laugh and will say "that's my good chocolate queen". I love going to buy kit kats and Hershey bars the mini ones, I wish I could have peanuts but with my colostomy I can't have them. My favorite kind of chocolate with nuts was the snickers, Mr.Good bars.
Always at the end of the night my pain and spasms get worse and I hate it, it gets so annoying too! But I am thankful that I can take the extra pain medication even though my family doesn't like it. Their not the ones living in the pain and spasm I am, I would rather sleep pain free than to live in pain all night.I am hoping that in my new chair they can have a softer foot plate for my feet. I had these roho things but my spasms broke all them. My heal always hurts too and it gets pretty frustrating being me but God pulls me through it, he has people like Dawn, in my life when the world doesn't understand I can go to her and she'll understand so that part I like. I can't go to my sisters because they don't understand what it's really like to live in all this pain, I kind of like getting a new power chair but then I don't the part that I won't like is getting fitted for it. I have to sit really still for them and it's not easy sitting still for them, 4 years ago I fought Chris and the pt for an hour and I did not want to sit in my power chair. When Chris brought me my wheelchair and Dale was here that day I said to Chris "I don't like you" and he said "you don't have to like me". I am pretty sure that he'll say that to me again this time.
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