I slept good last night, I fell asleep at 12:30 and Stephanie came at 9am and tomorrow I will probably sleep later but it's okay. I have nothing else better to do, I need friends around here. I need to get a life and have fun. I can't always sit in my room every night it gets boring and reading and things like that get boring. I wish I could get into my sisters houses and I want to hang out with them. I really hope that Ann can find me a place where I wouldn't be bored half the time, and I would have more interaction with humans. At cross roads they have these growth groups but I couldn't get into their houses and they don't want me there anyway. In July when Jay said "you need to come here with someone" I wanted to say "I can go to all these other places myself without someone with me". I kind of want to go barns and noble but then I don't because my mom will want to pick me up early because she doesn't have the confidence in herself to drive after dark. She depends on Jorma way to much and now that he's not here I can't stay out late, last night I was so bored and I read and I wanted a fast forward button to be 10pm to go to sleep.
I hate the rain there is nothing to do here and it's going to be raining until Wednesday and that means I will have to do all this indoor things. I want to help out at a day program and do things like that. I also like going to the library finding new books and I love going to barns and noble and things like that. When Dale was working with me we would go to barns and noble and just sit there and that's what I like, but I would like some company with me too. So I am hoping that Ann can find get me more hours so that I could go to barns and noble with them, Dale is busy with her life.
Tomorrow at 12 Matt is coming over and Stephanie and her boyfriend are going to come by and tease me. I'll probably slap both of them and then Stephanie is with me all next week so I am sure that she'll be getting all sorts of rises out of me and I'll probably want to smack her! I am glad that my dad isn't alive he would have allot of fun teasing me if he was alive. I cannot wait to get another pca too that way I won't be stuck here alone on Saturday's, I need to give Stephanie the weekend off and I would keep my mom but as I've said before she doesn't interact with me she's so busy with the phone and her own life that's another reason I want to move out. I go to barns and noble for two things 1 is to get out of the house the other reason is because if I were to stay here I would be bored and that's why I want another pca to take me out on Saturday's and to help Stephanie out too. My mom only wants to do the easy things and that's not fair for her so I need to find another pca. I am excited about hanging out with Matt tomorrow, the last time I hung out with a guy was last October when I was with Chris and I hung out with Matt two weeks ago :). Stephanie is going to take pictures so they'll be in tomorrow's post.
My mom doesn't know how to do anything without Jorma, she doesn't know how to turn the TV on or do anything. She depends on him way to much and it's really sad to see, she was so happy without him. In 2003 they met at CVS and that's when I became less important to her and he quit work. My mom doesn't trust God at all when I go out I know that he's with me but she doesn't trust him at all but he even says he won't leave us. I know that I am safe where ever I go even with the seizures I know that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. It's sad to see my mom not trusting God at all anymore and she use too. She needs Jorma to do every thing for her and it's sad before he was in our lives everything was better but oh well I will soon be out of her life and her and Jorma can do what ever they want too in life. I can't live here anymore it's to stressful and there's no love or interaction either, my mom seems to only care about my showers, laundry, and nothing else and it's not a good feeling and I am done living here.
Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them! For the Lord your God will be with you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
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