today is a rainy day and my body is going to spasm and I'm going to be in more pain, that's one bad thing when winter comes my body hurts more. I like the snow it's really pretty but the pain and spasm it causes me that's not fun. I miss going skiing, the last time I went was in 2008. That's when I broke my my back and femur too, when my dad was alive we went every Saturday and I still have the memories from him and I from skiing. On rainy days my body hurts more and I need to put these ice bottles behind my back when the tendons are inflamed my back gets hot, and it hurts but when I put ice on it my back stops hurting.
I really want a boyfriend who I can sit on my bed with and just hang out, or if he wanted to take me to his place and we could watch a movie. I miss that, I just want someone who I could get a hug. When they first put me in bed in bed with Chris I felt loved and he touched my back where it was tight. I want that again, I don't want sex.
I need to find a job and find something do to, because I can't stand living here anymore. My mom is so focused on Maiju and I'm just her option. I want to work in Alycia's group home and make sure that her pca's aren't doing every thing for her and I have a pretty good feeling that they are doing allot for her and it's to bad because at MHS we had do allot for ourselves. I miss being there and fitting in, if I would have stayed there I wouldn't be living here and public school took me out of there to early and I wish they hadn't did that I wonder where would I be? I see all my friends on facebook and they are all living on their own and I'm just stuck here and I hate it here. I really hope that dds can get me out of here soon!
I don't get why Chris won't talk to me but Dave will, and I wish that Chris would. Dave and I had some really awesome memories together he was there when my dad died and helped me allot so did Chris, I will never forget the day that my dad died. The pastor came in my room and said "Minna, your dad went to heaven" when I went back to MHS the first Wednesday that my dad wasn't there I asked Dave and Chris where was my dad and they said "Minna, remember he went to heaven?" and I cried. My dad was the one who told Dave "so your the guy that my daughter likes" and that day my face turned so red and I wanted to smack him. Dave and I were talking on face book tonight and one memory that neither one of will forget is when he was in my room and we were alone and I went to kiss him and a poster fell and we were talking about that memory tonight and we still get a laugh out of it. Dave helped me so much that whole year
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