Last night when my mom was putting me in bed I kept asking her "does Lacy need to go out?" and she kept saying "no she's fine" well she did need to go out and my mom got mad at Lacy but she did nothing wrong. I felt bad for Lacy, she did nothing to my mom and that's how my mom treats her and that's not good. I don't know what is my moms attitude lately is, she's not happy with Lacy or I. She wants me off the strong pain med, she wants me on anti depressants and she doesn't want to do my laundry or take out my trash. But she won't let me hire anyone else. She also gets bent out of shape when my showers aren't done or my sheets aren't changed and I want to say "if you're so concerned with those issues why don't you do them?" Stephanie left at 10 because she had a dentist appointment and I was going to meet Matt at the Rabbit Hole and my mom said "her last shower was on Friday" so after Stephanie and I went back in my room and Stephanie got upset. I really need to get more pca hours so that Stephanie isn't stuck doing every thing. My mom won't do my laundry, give me a shower or hang out with me. Stephanie came back at 5 and gave me my shower and I liked having company usually I am bored at nights and doing my quotes and bible verses I don't mind that but it would be nice if my mom would come spend time with me but she's so busy with her life.
It looks like I'm getting botox again, my back and legs are so tight and so is my left arm. My back is so tight and it is always hurting me and yesterday morning my back was so hot and I was in so much pain too. My back got so tight because I over worked the muscles at MHS they told me to stop playing the sports because I would over work the muscles and I didn't listen to them and I really wish I had because now I'm in more pain. I know that the botox will help me as much as it hurts me. If I'm dating Matt I will take a picture of him and I'll have Stephanie come in the room with me and talk about him and distract me from the needles. I get 4 in my back, 2 in my arm, 3 in each leg and it's so hard not to scream but I know if I am dating Matt than Stephanie will distract me by talking about him and I'll forget about the needles. But I really need it, my body is spasming way to much and it's getting to be to much on me and I don't need to deal with that I've got enough to deal with so hopefully the botox will help me!
I went on the date with Matt and we went to the rabbit hole and I had allot of fun catching up with him, we went to get pizza and he paid for my lunch too. I miss him and I am glad that I am re connecting with him. We talked about life and I forgot that I was disabled and it was a nice change and I like hanging out with him when I wasn't at home I forgot that I was disabled, I left here at 11:30 and I was at the rabbit hole. We talked there for awhile when we went to the pizza place I told him I have a halo and he told me to keep wishing that I had one. I was smiling the whole time that I was with him and Stephanie had a dentist appointment so she went to that then she had a hair appointment and she went to those two appointments. When Matt and I were going back to his place he said "on Friday there is a free concert at the rabbit hole". I think that he was to shy to ask me to go on a date, but he kept asking me to go to these different place with him and I will be happy. He gave me a bracelet too and he gave me a hug and we were trying to take a picture together but it wasn't coming out so on Friday if I go I will get a picture. I am excited that I am starting to date again and last Thursday he wasn't even going to Market Basket but he needed to get some food and I wasn't going to go until 12 but I went at the right time and I am glad that I did.
When I was with Matt this afternoon I forgot that I was disabled and I need that. When I was dating Chris when ever I would go over his house I would also forget that I was disabled and I like that. He remembers when FHS didn't want to give me my high school diploma and they treated me differently. They told me that I faked all my spasms and everything rude. I am hoping that tomorrow the Lipton center will call and I can meet with Ellen and Ann and I want to ask Ann if she can get me a job either working at a group home or a day program either one is fine. I want to earn some extra cash so that I can get the iPhone and since my mom won't add me onto her plan she said it's because I got off her plan in 2010. I really liked hanging out with Matt, I forgot that I was disabled and he aid that he wants to do a movie and pizza night with me and he wants to take me to Boston and do all these fun things with me and I will love it, He also has 6 nieces and nephews too just like I do. I would have had 7 but Simone died of an infection in 2000 and she was born in 91, Siira has pictures on facebook. I miss Siira in January she went to visit Florida and all her friends wanted her back there so she left here on 2/14/11 and that was hard on my mom and I. I am excited that I can start hanging out with Matt again we missed each other so we really need each other back in our lives. When I was driving down to the rabbit hole I was smiling and when I saw him that's when a huge smile came and I couldn't stop smiling.
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