I wish I had friends closer to me, that I could hang out with. All the ones from FHS they drink and party, the ones from horizon they're all busy. I like going to barns and noble but I get bored there too, but I can't always stay in the house either. At nights I want to go out and not always stay in the house that gets boring. I like doing my quotes and bible verses but my mom is always sitting in the living room my friend Jenny who lives in New York and Sammy their moms interact with them. I am hoping to get into shared living and get more interaction and not do the same thing every night and not always sit in my room alone. My mom has all the time in the world to talk to my sisters and her sister nut when it comes to me she doesn't have the patience to sit there and talk with me.
I can't go to barns and noble tonight because of the stupid rain and now it will be a boring night again. I get so bored here, I want to move out and get some human interaction that would be nice. I am bored half the time here and my mom is having her friend over. It gets frustrating and I wish I had a fast forward button, I need to find friends who could take me out and have fun with me. I can't always be alone in my room I hate it allot. I want and need a life, and I need to move out too. I'm not happy here anymore. I've done it for so long that there just comes a point where I can't deal with it anymore. I wish I could go to my mom and help her understand what it's like to be just an option when everyone else is more important to her. But I understand that she didn't want to get wet, so I will ask her if I can go tomorrow night instead.
Today I met with Ellen and she said that Ann my dds worker can set up a isp meeting and I can go on trips. This morning Stephanie was talking about going down to Florida for a week and dds can give me money to go on a trip like that and that would be awesome. I would like to go around my birthday and have fun down there for a week and have fun there. I could ask Miia (my oldest sister) if I could sleep over there and I would be with Siira, Aniika and Jeffery, they would love it. This past summer when Aniika and Jeffery saw me they got so excited to see me and they got so happy and it was really cute. I love them allot, and they love me. I know that Hailey and Ella they love me too, when they see me they always fight over who is going to put the lift up or down and they like to buckle me in too. When Miia and her husband come up from Florida Miia and Maiju have me watch them and I always need to count how many of them I have, Jeffery and Ella take off on me but Hailey and Ella stay close to me.
I am hoping to find a good job and working with disabled people, I want to do that. On Thursday when I was talking to my dds worker she was going to look into a job like that for me and I really would like it. I like helping disabled people, when I was at MHS the seniors would go into the elementary school and help them out. I want to encourage disabled people do the best that they can for themselves and not depend on others to always do it for them, that doesn't help them out. When I was working at the arc I felt good about myself and I need that again, Stephanie can come with me. My life is getting better, I will hopefully move into shared living, work and still do my quotes and bible verses. I really want to help disabled people and make them feel good about themselves. Maybe that's the reason why I am disabled to change the world for other disabled people and help them out too. I really want to get a job at a day program and help them out, sitting around here gets boring Stephanie doesn't like to go to barns and noble or to the library. So I need something else to do during the day and helping out in a day program would be perfect for me :)
Mikeschair "someone worth dying for"
You might be the wife,
Waiting up at night
You might be the man,
Struggling to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you're the son,
Who chose a broken road
Maybe you're the girl,
Thinking you'll end up alone
Praying God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?
(Chorus)
Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah, I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth dying for
I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
So you just keep asking, what everybody's asking
Chorus
You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah the Cross has proven
That you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose
And you are more than flesh and bone
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you
Are someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for
You're someone worth dying for
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