I went to hang out with Sammy today :)

This Sunday at church I am asking if anyone is looking for a job, I can't deal with Stephanie. Yesterday I wanted to come home and get out of my chair and she said "well I don't like going there it gets boring". I know she would have rather gone to her house but her dad makes fun of my tattoo he always asks me "it's not 3:16" I want to find a pca who likes going to the library and not always going out, I don't mind every other day but every day it's gets tiring. Yesterday when I was in pain and I needed to get out of my wheelchair I knew she didn't want to come back here so I let her go at 1, she's always putting herself down by calling herself fat and yesterday I said "you're not fat" she was comparing herself to Chad. I have enough of problems between my mom Jorma, my pain, spasms and I don't need anymore! I messaged Tanya and Renee to see if they knew of anyone because if they do I will have Stephanie train them and they can follow her around for the day. They also need to be able to drive to umass because I will not take the busy because the last time I took the bus to umass the driver didn't buckle me all the way down and I went flying forward and THANK GOD there was a seat infront of me because if there wasn't a seat infront of me I would have flipped over and really hurt myself.
Today I have Ellen and I'm going to ask her if she could help me get a job at the seven hills day program, I like working with disabled people to help them out. I don't know why I can't work with Stephanie but she can work, I need to get a life too. I can't always stay here and I want to make money too so that I can buy things. I liked working at the ARC and helping the disabled people out and then if I help out at a group home, I need something to make me forget that I'm disabled. Being with a pca all day it gets so frustrating and I can't reach things here and if I could I would. But I want to live too, I want to live and get a life as well. I want to help disabled people that's my purpose and I can show them how to do things themselves and if I get a job then I can have a pca here from 3-9 and that would make my night go by faster. As I said in the past my mom just sits in the living room and watches tv and talks on the phone. I want someone here more at nights I'm fine dunning the day and I'm also going to ask Ellen how long is the shared living waiting list and if it's not long I would be so excited to move out here and start fresh and clean. Dale said to ask Maiju and my mom that I want to start fresh and to leave my past behind me.
I was telling Stephanie that I want to work at seven hills day program she said "I need to find a new job then because I have a life and I need to pay bills" so she called her mom and asked if she knew this guys number. So this Sunday I will need to find a new job, I like to volenter and help out other disabled people. I called Seven Hills and I'm hoping that they will call me back on Monday I need to feel good about myself too and helping out other disabled people it makes me forget that I am disabled, when I helped out at the arc Siira came in the morning and would get me out of bed and get me ready for work and then come get me. But Stephanie can't handle that and it's to bad, but the other day when I wanted to come lay down she said "no, because I don't like being at your house" but I had to sit there very uncomfortable in my wheelchair and my legs were so sore and she didn't want to come back here and it frustrated me allot!
I went to see my friend Sammy she has cp and she's really nice and she has allot of confidence in herself, in the fall she's going to college. She's a younger version of me. She told me today "I missed you" and she had allot of fun with me and I liked hanging out with her too. Tomorrow I am going to the library I need to get the next book that comes after this book that I'm currently reading. I started it on Monday it's a Karen Kingsburry book and I forget the title. When I come back from the library I get to go to barns and noble :) and that will make my day go by quickly and I get to be out of the house. While Jorma was driving back he had the biggest frown to him and I tried to take a picture but every time that I did it didn't come out good. But I like being away from him and when I'm out and about it helps me forget that I am disabled that's why I want to work at Seven Hills day program and help the clients there to help me feel better about myself