i wonder why young people put them selves down they think they are fat and everything and they are always comparing them selves to others and Stephanie was saying "I'm so fat" she won't eat and then she gets dizzy. She wants to be this perfect image for Chad so that he won't see any fat to her and if Chad really likes her then he won't see that to her. It gets annoying hearing her complain how fat she is and when she doesn't eat she gets tired then she can't hang my quotes or bible verses up. I'm the type of person who could sit in a library all or day or at barns and noble, I don't like going to her parents house because her dad always says "you've got the wrong time on your arm". When I was there on Monday he said something like that and I took my ipod and left and went down the street, I hear it from Bret my brother in law and it makes me wish that I never got the tattoo. I want to work at a day program but with Stephanie I can't do that because she needs to work and I need to work too, I like helping at day program and helping Alycia out. I was able to encourage her to do more for herself.
Tomorrow night I'm hanging out with Sammy she has cp and when I asked her if she wanted to she seemed so happy to hang out with me, she was born in 1991 and that will give me something new to do and I know that she'll want to hang out more but I really don't mind. I can help her out too by telling her do things herself instead of asking her mom and dad. Maybe that's why I'm disabled to help others not to depend on their parents or pca's but to do things themselves. I fill my own drinks, I do allot for myself I just can't dress myself or shower myself, transfer. I use to before I went to FHS but when I was at the ARC and helping out there Alyica would ask me to open something for her and I wouldn't. I want to show disabled people that they can still live by going places but not depending on others. When I go out I don't depend on every one to do things, I showed Stephanie how I open doors to get the drinks out and how I get the money out of my wallet and that's what these young girls need to depend on themselves instead of everyone else . That's why I want to get a job at seven hills it's a day program the ARC the lady wasn't real nice and I miss going there so I will go back to work in a day program and help them out.
Tomorrow I am going to hang out with my friend Sammy and she has cp and she seemed so excited her if she wanted to hang out with her, as I said in yesterday's post I met her at an art studio June 10. She was in the life skills program at FHS and she graduated this past June, tomorrow when I see Ellen I'm going to ask her how do I get helping out a day program I did it before. The arc doesn't want me back there, if I go to work some place I loose Stephanie because she wants a full time job but it's like I need a life too. I need to live too, so it looks like I will need to ask at Horizon for a night pca because I would want to volunteer 10-2 and when I was working at the arc that's what I was doing and Siira was fine with that she would bring me there and then she would pick me up with Stephanie I can't do that. It gets very frustrating, I know that she'll be looking for a new job. She's so busy with Chad now that he has her in love and sometimes that's all she talks about and today she was telling me "I'm so fat". I said "you need to spend alone time, you can't always be with someone look at me I go to barns and noble once a week and I'm alone and I'm disabled and that means that you can be alone too
I wish that I could convince my mom into getting me the hospital bed, the doctors have said it would be better for her and I. The other morning when she was getting me in bed and I could tell that her back was hurting but if she got the hospital bed it would make it easier but if she keeps wanting to make her life harder that's up to her. But it would be more comfortable for me to sleep in the bed that I have now is just a full size bed and it's really not that comfortable and I wish she would get me one, my insurance would pay for a hospital bed. But she doesn't want to make her life easier and I wish she would. I get uncomfortable and that's not fair for me either. Some nights I am trying to get her attention and it gets stressful when I get into shared living I am going to have them get me a night pca who could come roll me, When I was at MHS I use to be able to reposition myself but when I went into public school they took away pt and ot and then I got weaker, and now I'm in my power chair and I sometimes hate it when I can't transfer myself. If I need help transferring then I need to get some help and it gets annoying, but I do like it when I can go out to places like to church myself and the library and on Saturday Stephanie is going to the beach with her mom so I will go to barns and noble and I've got a few busy days ahead of me
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