My day flew by :)

Last night I was telling my mom that I'm going out & again she didn't like but oh well. I was on facebook and I saw on my oldest nieces status saying "I'm so drunk" it makes me sad. When she was living here she was different but right when she turned 21 she got drunk she needs Jesus. Dawn called me last night and I was telling her about the nurse and she didn't even like it, so she told me to call the nursing place and tell them it offended me and I am disabled but I am not low functional. Next month I'm going to visit her and we're going to write 20/20 a letter and we want them to come follow us for a day so that the world can see that just because we're disabled doesn't mean that our minds don't work. My mom, and Steph didn't like it all. I will call the nursing supervisor and tell her not to send that nurse out anymore. After she changed my catheter she said "you did a good job sweetie", my other nurse she was on vacation but she never treated me that way. Now I really need to go back to school and become a social worker for disabled people and stick up for people like myself.
My mom needs Jesus really badly, my keys weren't on my chair and I know that Steph has them and my mom said "why am I always the one you blame?" so then her and Jorma left and she was so angry. Yesterday Steph went to get me lunch and books and my mom didn't need to give me an attitude about either, she could have been nice about it.
I don't even want to talk to my mom the way that she treated me this afternoon how she yelled at me, it upset me allot. I wish I could tell her how it made me feel but she would get offended by it.  I went to the concert and when Jorma and her picked me up from it Jorma flipped the mirror, he doesn't want to see me either.
Today I got a letter from relay for life and it said "come join us for relay for life on June 8th" that's never easy for me because when my dad was alive he held this family together and when he was alive my mom was different and I miss that mom. Suvi only came to watch the movie with me because Steph wasn't able to make it. But if Steph was able to make it than I'm sure she wouldn't have come. It makes me sad that no one in my family needs me, I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on living here. I miss my dad, I'm sure he's proud of me of the young lady I turned into. I go to church and I go every where myself. I don't need my mom to follow me, but it would be nice if she interacted with me but she's got her life and sadly I'm just her option and it's not a good feeling to have at the end of the day either. I bet if my dad was alive I wouldn't be living here and he would have kept me at MHS, but my mom and Maiju agreed with public school that they had a better program for me. But when I was there I got weaker and now I'm like this and it's upsetting too, I miss when I could do things for myself and not be stuck in this chair. Relay for life heals me in away, it makes me stronger. This time I am going to email Maiju and tell the Lutheran church to donate money towards the relay for life. I want to raise more money, I do know that even if Steph and I go our own ways she'll still do the relay for life with me. She wants to do the 24 hour one, I am hoping to have a boyfriend by then. I miss having a boyfriend when ever I get one I will tell my mom that on weekends I won't be here I will be out and living my own life. Since she doesn't need me in her life she has all the people in her life who she wants. I'm burnt out by my mom & Jorma too. It's overwhelming living here, I wish my sisters could see the Jorma that I see but they only see the nice part to him.
God With Us
MercyMe

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way

We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

Chorus
All that is within me cries
For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us

My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord You know
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
Still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

Chorus

Bridge
Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay it at Your feet