My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9
Today Steph's cousin is coming to my church because someone told Jamie that I was looking for a new pca, now there will be tension between Steph and I. Yesterday on the way home from cross roads she didn't talk to me, and I know that Jamie is going to find out who it was and is going to tell Steph. She is a good worker but we don't have anything in common, she doesn't like to read or do crafts, some times I need to stay home but she tells me that she gets bored. I need to find a volunteer job and find another pca who has more things in common with me. I don't want Maiju to tell them about my past or Steph to tell them about my past. God has forgiven me so it's time my family starts forgiving me, Steph always reminds me that I use to write Jorma hate notes and I wish that she would stop. It makes me feel bad about myself, Jorma is nice but he gets moody with me one day he's nice to me then the next day he's not. I can only talk to people at church how I'm feeling about him and my blogs, Dale & Dawn. Imagine your mom sleeping with someone who she doesn't want to get married too because money is more important than their salvation.
Jorma makes me laugh how he always needs his mommy, this morning when my mom brought me to church he had to come with us because they were going for a walk with Lacy. He flipped the mirror again, he doesn't want to see me. He can't even do his own laundry either, if I could reach the washer and dryer then I could do my own laundry. That was a skill they taught at MHS was to do our laundry. When I come home my mom doesn't even take my harness off or anything she leaves everything on. I wish my mom needed me more, today she had an attitude and she hasn't gone to church in two weeks because Maiju hasn't been there.
Last night I was uncomfortable and when I got my moms attention she said "I was watching my Finnish news that I do every Saturday" I was so tempted to say "it's not either one of faults that I can't fix myself and if I could then I would but I can't.". My hips were hurting me and I was just asking for her help and she didn't like that. I'm not sure what her attitude is about, it's not easy living here. Last Thursday when we went to the mall, and we were supposed to go to the beach my mom didn't like how Steph didn't put money in my van for gas. So I texted Steph and told her that she needs to bring the money for the gas so that way she doesn't get mad tomorrow night. My mom doesn't spend any time with me, and she's my pca, I know that she won't like when I get a volunteer job because then I'll need to hire a new pca and I'll need to train them. My mom doesn't like when I go to barns and noble, but she goes out with her friends every Friday night. When I get a boyfriend she won't like that because I am sure that he'll want to take me out and she won't like that because she always wants me home but when I'm home she does nothing with me. Right now she's watching TV and reading the news paper, earlier tonight she said to Jorma "lets go watch the Finnish news" so they went up. If the pca company ever asked me about my mom then I would need to be honest with them. Yesterday she did my shower but she didn't like too because she wants Steph to do all the showers but she needs to do some too and not just Steph.
Today at church the pastor was talking about adultery, my mom lives with Jorma. It's sad that they won't get married, when he came back here last month my mom and him both took showers before going to bed. I wish they would make it right but they are more focused on their money than their salvation. In 2007 the Lutheran pastor asked me "do they live together?" and I wasn't going to lie. Maiju found out that I told the pastor the truth. My mom and Jorma started to date in 2003 and one night my mom asked Miia and Maiju if they could take me over night and all wondered what they were going to do. Shortly after that he moved in, when I'm in my room allot I get bored. It's sad that my mom won't spend time with me she's so busy with her life that she really doesn't have time for me. My mom or Jorma they have no idea who I really am, I use to drink and since this July will be 4 years that I've been born again I want to be baptized. I asked the pastor today when is the next time he is going to baptize people and he said sometime in May. I want to get baptized again, I know what a true Christian is now. Lutherans they baptize their babies when they are either 4 or 5 months old. When my mom let Jorma move back in she said "he never drinks or swears" but two weeks ago when it was Easter Brad asked him "do you have any beer?" and Jorma said "no". As I've said in the past I got drunk and did all these bad things but then I gave my heart to Christ and I've been different in a good way. I still joke around, but I won't drink or listen to bad music either. I know what my mom and Jorma do upstairs, I am disabled but I am smart. In 2009 when I couldn't find enough of help to live on my own and I had to move back here Jorma didn't like that he wants my mom all to himself. My mom and Jorma care more about their money than their salvation. When I was doing my quotes and bible verses I found this quote: He does not make the task easier. He makes us stronger. and it's true. I am a strong person to deal with all the things that I deal with between my pain, spasms, seeing Jorma in his boxers, going to all these doctor's appointments. I was telling people at my church that yesterday at cross roads they were telling me to write my testimony and I can save people with it, and after they read that they could say "if she can handle all that pain and spasm and still go to church so can I". So I will start working on it and when I am done with it I will have people edit it I know Steph won't want too because she is like that.
Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns
Today Steph's cousin is coming to my church because someone told Jamie that I was looking for a new pca, now there will be tension between Steph and I. Yesterday on the way home from cross roads she didn't talk to me, and I know that Jamie is going to find out who it was and is going to tell Steph. She is a good worker but we don't have anything in common, she doesn't like to read or do crafts, some times I need to stay home but she tells me that she gets bored. I need to find a volunteer job and find another pca who has more things in common with me. I don't want Maiju to tell them about my past or Steph to tell them about my past. God has forgiven me so it's time my family starts forgiving me, Steph always reminds me that I use to write Jorma hate notes and I wish that she would stop. It makes me feel bad about myself, Jorma is nice but he gets moody with me one day he's nice to me then the next day he's not. I can only talk to people at church how I'm feeling about him and my blogs, Dale & Dawn. Imagine your mom sleeping with someone who she doesn't want to get married too because money is more important than their salvation.
Jorma makes me laugh how he always needs his mommy, this morning when my mom brought me to church he had to come with us because they were going for a walk with Lacy. He flipped the mirror again, he doesn't want to see me. He can't even do his own laundry either, if I could reach the washer and dryer then I could do my own laundry. That was a skill they taught at MHS was to do our laundry. When I come home my mom doesn't even take my harness off or anything she leaves everything on. I wish my mom needed me more, today she had an attitude and she hasn't gone to church in two weeks because Maiju hasn't been there.
Last night I was uncomfortable and when I got my moms attention she said "I was watching my Finnish news that I do every Saturday" I was so tempted to say "it's not either one of faults that I can't fix myself and if I could then I would but I can't.". My hips were hurting me and I was just asking for her help and she didn't like that. I'm not sure what her attitude is about, it's not easy living here. Last Thursday when we went to the mall, and we were supposed to go to the beach my mom didn't like how Steph didn't put money in my van for gas. So I texted Steph and told her that she needs to bring the money for the gas so that way she doesn't get mad tomorrow night. My mom doesn't spend any time with me, and she's my pca, I know that she won't like when I get a volunteer job because then I'll need to hire a new pca and I'll need to train them. My mom doesn't like when I go to barns and noble, but she goes out with her friends every Friday night. When I get a boyfriend she won't like that because I am sure that he'll want to take me out and she won't like that because she always wants me home but when I'm home she does nothing with me. Right now she's watching TV and reading the news paper, earlier tonight she said to Jorma "lets go watch the Finnish news" so they went up. If the pca company ever asked me about my mom then I would need to be honest with them. Yesterday she did my shower but she didn't like too because she wants Steph to do all the showers but she needs to do some too and not just Steph.
Today at church the pastor was talking about adultery, my mom lives with Jorma. It's sad that they won't get married, when he came back here last month my mom and him both took showers before going to bed. I wish they would make it right but they are more focused on their money than their salvation. In 2007 the Lutheran pastor asked me "do they live together?" and I wasn't going to lie. Maiju found out that I told the pastor the truth. My mom and Jorma started to date in 2003 and one night my mom asked Miia and Maiju if they could take me over night and all wondered what they were going to do. Shortly after that he moved in, when I'm in my room allot I get bored. It's sad that my mom won't spend time with me she's so busy with her life that she really doesn't have time for me. My mom or Jorma they have no idea who I really am, I use to drink and since this July will be 4 years that I've been born again I want to be baptized. I asked the pastor today when is the next time he is going to baptize people and he said sometime in May. I want to get baptized again, I know what a true Christian is now. Lutherans they baptize their babies when they are either 4 or 5 months old. When my mom let Jorma move back in she said "he never drinks or swears" but two weeks ago when it was Easter Brad asked him "do you have any beer?" and Jorma said "no". As I've said in the past I got drunk and did all these bad things but then I gave my heart to Christ and I've been different in a good way. I still joke around, but I won't drink or listen to bad music either. I know what my mom and Jorma do upstairs, I am disabled but I am smart. In 2009 when I couldn't find enough of help to live on my own and I had to move back here Jorma didn't like that he wants my mom all to himself. My mom and Jorma care more about their money than their salvation. When I was doing my quotes and bible verses I found this quote: He does not make the task easier. He makes us stronger. and it's true. I am a strong person to deal with all the things that I deal with between my pain, spasms, seeing Jorma in his boxers, going to all these doctor's appointments. I was telling people at my church that yesterday at cross roads they were telling me to write my testimony and I can save people with it, and after they read that they could say "if she can handle all that pain and spasm and still go to church so can I". So I will start working on it and when I am done with it I will have people edit it I know Steph won't want too because she is like that.
Praise You In This Storm
Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I'm with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
Chorus:
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I'm with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
Chorus:
(2x's)
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth
Chorus:
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I'm with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
Chorus:
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I'm with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
Chorus:
(2x's)
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth
Chorus:
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