My mom doesn't want to do anything such as my laundry she has Steph do it all, she's also my pca. She only wants the easy things, I wish that she would want to take me out shopping. Steph leaves at 3 and when she leaves my mom and Jorma go take Lacy for a walk, I know that she doesn't want me to have friends here at nights. I don't mind being alone sometimes but not all the time I spend way to much time in this room. Once summer comes and the weather is nice I am going to the library and staying there until 5:30 it takes me half hour to get home but that's fine. I love to read, I love getting out of here it makes me feel good about myself and I forget that I am disabled. I can get dinner for myself, there's a pizza place right next to the library and everyone there knows to cut my pizza up for me. I always pray before I leave that God keep me safe, and he always does. My dds worker is working on finding me a full time volunteer job, Steph is getting married July 21st and she wants to go to college. I was telling her that I don't want to get attached to her because when it's timing for the person to leave it's not easy. But she's so busy planning her wedding and her mind is focused on Chad and planning the wedding, so I have a feeling that after she's married she'll leave. But I know that God will take care of me he always does, if I get a full time volunteer job then I'll have to have someone here at nights & my mom will need to deal with it.
I went to barns and noble and Steph went to go do her own thing, I get very bored of being here. So I went out and had fun, I went to get a cup of ice and my friend Shawn was there and he said "look at who just rolled in, trouble". He's always joking around with me but I don't mind it. I like going there, I am still waiting on my membership card from Suvi. I'm there allot so it would save me allot of money too. I like going to get dinner there and go shopping around there I take my wheelchair charger. I went to the halmark store and got some gel pens, I like the gel pens. I will have to return two of them because they don't work that well. I enjoy having busy days it makes my days go by faster instead of always sitting here. My friend Beka from church said that once she is able to drive then she'll bring me there on the weekends and I won't need to be alone. As I've said before I don't mind being alone all the time but sometimes is okay. When I got home I rang the door bell and knocked on the door so that Lacy could hear me she went nuts when she saw me she's cute though :)
This morning when Steph was getting me dressed I texted her and said "I miss when it was all girls here" meaning two weeks ago when Jorma wasn't here. When he was gone for a few days I could keep my door open all the time. When he went to Finland last September to half of October I could keep my door shut too. I went to barns and noble this afternoon and I didn't get home until 5:30 and my mom was watching Dr.Oz and I herd her say to Jorma "I am going to make some salad because it's healthy for you" and he said something quietly. I am glad that I have the bible verses and quotes all over my room and the door inside and outside. I am glad that I haven't drank in 4 years either, its amazing how God works how he used Al to get me out of relgion. Al and I no longer talk because he always wanted me to go swimming and to read the bible but it's easier to read the bible off my walls. Dale and Steph they call it the walk in bible, I have allot of bible verses and good quotes. Like I've said before it takes me 2 hours to find them, it's not easy but I enjoy doing it allot. It keeps me busy, my pastor once told me "most disabled people are mad at God for being disabled but you're not" I can save people through my disabilities and tell them about God. I don't mind being disabled I wish that the world wouldn't look at my wheelchair, I am more than my wheelchair and disabilities I am human and I can still do things. It's sad how public school looked at me how they only saw my wheelchair and didn't want to give me my diploma they told me that I would never get any where in life. But my friends they got it for me and I am still thankful for them to this day, I see Dave and Shawn at barns and noble when Dave sees me he always gives me a hug.
When I went to barns and noble today I bought the book "Becoming a better you, by Joel Osteen" its speaking right to me too. How God created me and how he let the disabilities pass to me so that I could help other disabled people, I inspire allot of people too and that's a good thing, he was saying how God turns things into a good thing such as my dad's cancer. My dad taught me allot and the lessons that he taught me were the best ones too! I am a very outgoing person and I go every where myself, this Sunday it's going to be a nice day out so I will take my chair charger with me and charge my chair at church. In my town there are allot of hills, and my house is on a huge hill. I want to meet with my dds worker tomorrow and ask her if she knows if the shared living list got shorter. I want to live in Leominster, I could be right by barns and noble my favorite spot. I wish I could go there every day, I also like the library too but the Fitchburg library isn't that big. When Suvi my sister was working in my town she could go to the Leominster library and get me books that I liked reading. But in the book it talks about rejection and not to give up. Between the spasms and pain and everything else that I go through in a day isn't easy but I manage it pretty well. If my sisters would have gotten this challenges they would have given up by now, but I am a strong person just like my dad was. I like doing the relay for life in memory of him, I wish that my two sisters who live close to me they would do it but they won't. Steph wants to the whole 24 hour relay for life and we'll probably end up doing it, I am hoping to get a boyfriend by then the silent lap is never the easiest for me. The way he told me that he was loosing his battle with his cancer we went to the cape and one night it was just him and I and he said "when the sun goes down I go too" then on December 23,1999 he went home. I think the more challenges that someone has in their lives makes them a stronger person. I have two quotes on my wall, "tough times never last but tough people do & if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it" and those two quotes are true!
Carry me to the crossKutless
When the path is daunting
And every step exhausting
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, no, no
I feel You draw me closer
All these burdens on my shoulder
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
You pull me from this place
(Chorus)
Hallelujah!
You carry me every day
You carry me all the way
Hallelujah!
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
How Your love has moved me
To the foot of all Your glory
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone
Chorus
All of these cities you have built
And every cathedral you have filled
To all of creation you gave life with your hands
And with those hands you comfort me
You lift me up from my knees
And carry me
You carry me
Chorus
The cross
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
I went to barns and noble and Steph went to go do her own thing, I get very bored of being here. So I went out and had fun, I went to get a cup of ice and my friend Shawn was there and he said "look at who just rolled in, trouble". He's always joking around with me but I don't mind it. I like going there, I am still waiting on my membership card from Suvi. I'm there allot so it would save me allot of money too. I like going to get dinner there and go shopping around there I take my wheelchair charger. I went to the halmark store and got some gel pens, I like the gel pens. I will have to return two of them because they don't work that well. I enjoy having busy days it makes my days go by faster instead of always sitting here. My friend Beka from church said that once she is able to drive then she'll bring me there on the weekends and I won't need to be alone. As I've said before I don't mind being alone all the time but sometimes is okay. When I got home I rang the door bell and knocked on the door so that Lacy could hear me she went nuts when she saw me she's cute though :)
This morning when Steph was getting me dressed I texted her and said "I miss when it was all girls here" meaning two weeks ago when Jorma wasn't here. When he was gone for a few days I could keep my door open all the time. When he went to Finland last September to half of October I could keep my door shut too. I went to barns and noble this afternoon and I didn't get home until 5:30 and my mom was watching Dr.Oz and I herd her say to Jorma "I am going to make some salad because it's healthy for you" and he said something quietly. I am glad that I have the bible verses and quotes all over my room and the door inside and outside. I am glad that I haven't drank in 4 years either, its amazing how God works how he used Al to get me out of relgion. Al and I no longer talk because he always wanted me to go swimming and to read the bible but it's easier to read the bible off my walls. Dale and Steph they call it the walk in bible, I have allot of bible verses and good quotes. Like I've said before it takes me 2 hours to find them, it's not easy but I enjoy doing it allot. It keeps me busy, my pastor once told me "most disabled people are mad at God for being disabled but you're not" I can save people through my disabilities and tell them about God. I don't mind being disabled I wish that the world wouldn't look at my wheelchair, I am more than my wheelchair and disabilities I am human and I can still do things. It's sad how public school looked at me how they only saw my wheelchair and didn't want to give me my diploma they told me that I would never get any where in life. But my friends they got it for me and I am still thankful for them to this day, I see Dave and Shawn at barns and noble when Dave sees me he always gives me a hug.
When I went to barns and noble today I bought the book "Becoming a better you, by Joel Osteen" its speaking right to me too. How God created me and how he let the disabilities pass to me so that I could help other disabled people, I inspire allot of people too and that's a good thing, he was saying how God turns things into a good thing such as my dad's cancer. My dad taught me allot and the lessons that he taught me were the best ones too! I am a very outgoing person and I go every where myself, this Sunday it's going to be a nice day out so I will take my chair charger with me and charge my chair at church. In my town there are allot of hills, and my house is on a huge hill. I want to meet with my dds worker tomorrow and ask her if she knows if the shared living list got shorter. I want to live in Leominster, I could be right by barns and noble my favorite spot. I wish I could go there every day, I also like the library too but the Fitchburg library isn't that big. When Suvi my sister was working in my town she could go to the Leominster library and get me books that I liked reading. But in the book it talks about rejection and not to give up. Between the spasms and pain and everything else that I go through in a day isn't easy but I manage it pretty well. If my sisters would have gotten this challenges they would have given up by now, but I am a strong person just like my dad was. I like doing the relay for life in memory of him, I wish that my two sisters who live close to me they would do it but they won't. Steph wants to the whole 24 hour relay for life and we'll probably end up doing it, I am hoping to get a boyfriend by then the silent lap is never the easiest for me. The way he told me that he was loosing his battle with his cancer we went to the cape and one night it was just him and I and he said "when the sun goes down I go too" then on December 23,1999 he went home. I think the more challenges that someone has in their lives makes them a stronger person. I have two quotes on my wall, "tough times never last but tough people do & if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it" and those two quotes are true!
Carry me to the crossKutless
When the path is daunting
And every step exhausting
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, no, no
I feel You draw me closer
All these burdens on my shoulder
I'm not alone, I'm not alone
You pull me from this place
(Chorus)
Hallelujah!
You carry me every day
You carry me all the way
Hallelujah!
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
How Your love has moved me
To the foot of all Your glory
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone
Chorus
All of these cities you have built
And every cathedral you have filled
To all of creation you gave life with your hands
And with those hands you comfort me
You lift me up from my knees
And carry me
You carry me
Chorus
The cross
You carry me to the
You carry me to the cross
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