Today is my favorite day, it's church I never use to like going to church because the music was boring. But I always knew there was God, I never stopped believing in him I just walked away from him for a little while. When the doctor's told me that I herd voices I said "there is only one voice I hear and that is Jesus Christ". I want to get baptized again I was when I was little but I want to get it now that I understand what God means. The Lutheran churches they baptize their babies when they're really young and they don't know what it means to be a Christian. But I know now what it means, I will never go back to my old life style again. Like I've said before, when Dale first started working for me I had half naked men on my wall and I use to swear when she left I had bible verses and really good quotes. After I am done getting the message through the bible verse or quote I put them in books. I am going to write why I do the bible verses and quotes and Steph is going to tape them in the books, I have neon and pastel paper. It takes me 2 hours to find all them but it makes my nights go by faster. I am going to have my mom drive me to church because it's cold out and when church is over I will see how cold it is outside. I am pretty outgoing for having 3 disabilities, I could have given up so many times but I didn't and I never will.
Relay for life is in 3 months, it's not easy for me. Steph said that she wants to do the 24 hours this time so we'll get a bunch of people and hopefully by then I will have a boyfriend by then. When the sun goes down that's when the tears come, June is also fathers day. So I will send my dad a fathers day balloon and a letter again and I am sure he'll be happy. Relay for life is cool because at the end of the night when it's dark they spell out hope and put candles in bags. In my book that I am reading the dad is leaving journals for all his kids same like my dad did. It's sad what cancer does to a family, Maiju & Suvi are always doing things together and my mom lives in sin. At Suvi's wedding I made a speech that if she would still hang out with me and she said "yes" but that came out to be a lie because she doesn't hang out she's so busy with Brad and her sister in law. Yesterday I asked her about the barns and noble member ship card and she said the next time she'll get paid she'll give it to me. When I see dad's and their daughters it makes me miss my dad, my friend Dawn is always with her dad. I know everything happens for a reason, I know my dad was here to teach me about God and how to live even though I have 3 disabilities. My sisters would have given up by now, I have so much faith. I don't mind being disabled at all, I can encourage people and inspire them too. When the guy at the library and barns and noble when he always tells me "you need faith" he doesn't know me and I have allot of faith. It's like he thinks just because my legs they don;t work that my brain doesn't work and allot of people do. I was supposed to be in a day program but thank God my colostomy happened, I know my family would like me in one but I would fall asleep. I know my dad would be proud of me for sticking up for myself and not letting people control me.
Today my brother in law Bret, Maiju and her 3 kids came over for easter. Maiju and I did a easter egg hunt for them and they loved it, I was telling Maiju that tomorrow I am going to buy allot of chocolate. I love dove and hershey candy, Steph said that my room is really dangerous because I have all this candy in it. They left at 4 and then my mom and Jorma went upstairs to take a nap, then my sister Suvi and Brad came by and I herd Brad asking Jorma for beer. I said "in heaven there won't be beer" and Jorma said "when I get up there I will drink allot of wine.". Easter and Christmas are so over rated so many parents are focused on the Easter bunny & Santa and not on Jesus. It's sad too, because Jesus gives us life and gives us a second chance like he did for me. But half the world doesn't even believe in Jesus they think that he was only on earth for a while then died. But he is alive, otherwise I wouldn't be here today. When I got the colostomy 7 years ago, God picked the right doctor to save my life that day and I am glad that he chose the right doctor too. I know when I go out myself nothing with happen to me because I have Jesus. When my brother in law Bret was here he really didn't talk to me, I remember when I became born again my family didn't like that. But I wasn't leaving the "faith" I was just moving on. When Bret my brother in law sees my tattoo he makes fun of it, he tells me that I have it on my arm because I don't know the time. Steph's dad use to make fun of it, but then she told him to stop, I only have 316 and not John.
Last night when my mom was putting me to bed she was so rude to Lacy and I, Lacy was under my bed and when my mom was getting me comfortable in bed Lacy was under the bed and she stepped on Lacy's tail. I don't know what I did to her, but I think it's Jorma who is making her this way and its not fair for me. Tomorrow when my dds worker is going to call I am going to ask her if she knows how long the shared living list is. Jorma is stressing me out so is my mom, I felt bad for Lacy how my mom yelled at her, it's sad too. My mom doesn't have patience with me, I really need to move out of here and leave them two behind since they don't want to get married and make it right with God. I didn't like how my mom lied to me two weeks ago when she let Jorma move back here and she said "he doesn't drink or swear". But he drinks Steph has gone into the garage and there is beer in there. I haven't drank in 4 years and I will never go back to that life style again. Yeah it was fun at the time but afterwards wasn't fun because I don't remember the next day. I wish my mom would make it right in God's eyes but she's more concerned about the money. I miss my dad, he held this whole family together and now its all falling apart. I wish that I could move out but I know my mom or sisters wouldn't trust me because they think that I tried to kill myself. My mom wants my showers done it would be a whole lot easier doing them at night but she doesn't want a night time pca. What will happen if I get a boyfriend? and he's here with me late? She's so controlling because of Jorma. He tells her when it's time for coffee, I pray every night that God will get rid of Jorma for good. My mom doesn't want to interact with me she's so busy with her life. Yesterday when she had to get my pain med from CVS she didn't like that but she's also my pca too. She signs the time sheets, she always wants Steph to change my sheets or vacuum my room but she should also do those things and not just Steph.
Love Has Come
Mark Schultz
VERSE 1:
I know this life is filled with sorrow
And there are days when the pain just lasts and lasts But I know there will come a day When our tears are washed away With a break in the clouds His glory coming down And in that moment
CHORUS:
Every knee shall bow
Every tongue confess
That God is love
And love has come for us all
Every heart set free
Every one will see
That God is love
And love has come for us all
VERSE 2:
For anybody who has ever lost a loved one And you feel like you had to let go too soon I know it hurts to say goodbye But don't you know it's just a matter of time 'Til the tears are gonna end You'll see them once again And in that moment
BRIDGE 1:
Oh, and on that day
We will stand amazed
At our Savior, God and King
Just to see the face
Of amazing grace
As our hearts rise upand sing
BRIDGE 2:
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Thank You for the cross
Singing glory, glory, hallelujah
Christ has paid the cost
Relay for life is in 3 months, it's not easy for me. Steph said that she wants to do the 24 hours this time so we'll get a bunch of people and hopefully by then I will have a boyfriend by then. When the sun goes down that's when the tears come, June is also fathers day. So I will send my dad a fathers day balloon and a letter again and I am sure he'll be happy. Relay for life is cool because at the end of the night when it's dark they spell out hope and put candles in bags. In my book that I am reading the dad is leaving journals for all his kids same like my dad did. It's sad what cancer does to a family, Maiju & Suvi are always doing things together and my mom lives in sin. At Suvi's wedding I made a speech that if she would still hang out with me and she said "yes" but that came out to be a lie because she doesn't hang out she's so busy with Brad and her sister in law. Yesterday I asked her about the barns and noble member ship card and she said the next time she'll get paid she'll give it to me. When I see dad's and their daughters it makes me miss my dad, my friend Dawn is always with her dad. I know everything happens for a reason, I know my dad was here to teach me about God and how to live even though I have 3 disabilities. My sisters would have given up by now, I have so much faith. I don't mind being disabled at all, I can encourage people and inspire them too. When the guy at the library and barns and noble when he always tells me "you need faith" he doesn't know me and I have allot of faith. It's like he thinks just because my legs they don;t work that my brain doesn't work and allot of people do. I was supposed to be in a day program but thank God my colostomy happened, I know my family would like me in one but I would fall asleep. I know my dad would be proud of me for sticking up for myself and not letting people control me.
Today my brother in law Bret, Maiju and her 3 kids came over for easter. Maiju and I did a easter egg hunt for them and they loved it, I was telling Maiju that tomorrow I am going to buy allot of chocolate. I love dove and hershey candy, Steph said that my room is really dangerous because I have all this candy in it. They left at 4 and then my mom and Jorma went upstairs to take a nap, then my sister Suvi and Brad came by and I herd Brad asking Jorma for beer. I said "in heaven there won't be beer" and Jorma said "when I get up there I will drink allot of wine.". Easter and Christmas are so over rated so many parents are focused on the Easter bunny & Santa and not on Jesus. It's sad too, because Jesus gives us life and gives us a second chance like he did for me. But half the world doesn't even believe in Jesus they think that he was only on earth for a while then died. But he is alive, otherwise I wouldn't be here today. When I got the colostomy 7 years ago, God picked the right doctor to save my life that day and I am glad that he chose the right doctor too. I know when I go out myself nothing with happen to me because I have Jesus. When my brother in law Bret was here he really didn't talk to me, I remember when I became born again my family didn't like that. But I wasn't leaving the "faith" I was just moving on. When Bret my brother in law sees my tattoo he makes fun of it, he tells me that I have it on my arm because I don't know the time. Steph's dad use to make fun of it, but then she told him to stop, I only have 316 and not John.
Last night when my mom was putting me to bed she was so rude to Lacy and I, Lacy was under my bed and when my mom was getting me comfortable in bed Lacy was under the bed and she stepped on Lacy's tail. I don't know what I did to her, but I think it's Jorma who is making her this way and its not fair for me. Tomorrow when my dds worker is going to call I am going to ask her if she knows how long the shared living list is. Jorma is stressing me out so is my mom, I felt bad for Lacy how my mom yelled at her, it's sad too. My mom doesn't have patience with me, I really need to move out of here and leave them two behind since they don't want to get married and make it right with God. I didn't like how my mom lied to me two weeks ago when she let Jorma move back here and she said "he doesn't drink or swear". But he drinks Steph has gone into the garage and there is beer in there. I haven't drank in 4 years and I will never go back to that life style again. Yeah it was fun at the time but afterwards wasn't fun because I don't remember the next day. I wish my mom would make it right in God's eyes but she's more concerned about the money. I miss my dad, he held this whole family together and now its all falling apart. I wish that I could move out but I know my mom or sisters wouldn't trust me because they think that I tried to kill myself. My mom wants my showers done it would be a whole lot easier doing them at night but she doesn't want a night time pca. What will happen if I get a boyfriend? and he's here with me late? She's so controlling because of Jorma. He tells her when it's time for coffee, I pray every night that God will get rid of Jorma for good. My mom doesn't want to interact with me she's so busy with her life. Yesterday when she had to get my pain med from CVS she didn't like that but she's also my pca too. She signs the time sheets, she always wants Steph to change my sheets or vacuum my room but she should also do those things and not just Steph.
Love Has Come
Mark Schultz
VERSE 1:
I know this life is filled with sorrow
And there are days when the pain just lasts and lasts But I know there will come a day When our tears are washed away With a break in the clouds His glory coming down And in that moment
CHORUS:
Every knee shall bow
Every tongue confess
That God is love
And love has come for us all
Every heart set free
Every one will see
That God is love
And love has come for us all
VERSE 2:
For anybody who has ever lost a loved one And you feel like you had to let go too soon I know it hurts to say goodbye But don't you know it's just a matter of time 'Til the tears are gonna end You'll see them once again And in that moment
BRIDGE 1:
Oh, and on that day
We will stand amazed
At our Savior, God and King
Just to see the face
Of amazing grace
As our hearts rise upand sing
BRIDGE 2:
Glory, glory, hallelujah
Thank You for the cross
Singing glory, glory, hallelujah
Christ has paid the cost
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