Last night I was telling my mom "I am going to barns and noble" she didn't like that but she's going out with her friends tonight. I can't stay in the house alone, she doesn't want me to have friends over she doesn't invite me to go out with them. I am in this house to much, it made me not want to talk to her. I had a seizure, I think they come from stress there is allot of tension here. At nights she's so in a rush to put in bed it gets annoying too, she wants to go please Jorma. I am really burnt out by them two, God gives me so much strength to get through these hard days. I don't want to stay home tonight, if I wasn't disabled then I wouldn't be here. It makes me sad that she doesn't want me to go out, I was so tempted to say "okay you can't go out with your friends tonight". I'm just going to go, I need to get out of here.
Dawn & I talked last night, and I was telling her that I gave Bryan my number and I could tell that she wanted to smack me. I love her she's like my older sister, we have the same disabilities. My sisters have no idea what it's like to be me but Dawn does and it helps me to have her and that I can go to her.
Today I went to go see my psychologist and she's having surgery so she found me another one who can help me out until she comes back. I deal with allot during my days, now that Steph is getting married she's more focused on the wedding. After Ellen I went to barns and noble and I saw my friend Shawn there and I was out for 9 hours today I've been out allot this week but it keeps me busy because usually I do the same thing so Steph said that starting next week on Monday's & Wednesday's I am going out and it's right next to the park so I can make a peanut butter and jelly and have it for lunch and bring my book. I wish that I could check out books from the Leominster Library but I can't they have a bigger library than my town. My town's library is small and I can't get good books. That's why I want to move to Leominster I would be close to the library & barns and noble.
I like having busy days and busy weeks, when I'm here my nights go so slow and there's nothing to do here. I am glad that I went to barns and noble. I get to see my friend Shawn who helped me get my diploma. Steph and I were going to the park but then she got frustrated with a personal issue so she didn't even want to go there. I am really enjoying my book by Joel Osteen I read over 100 pages. When I get into a good book I can't put it down I try but my brain never shuts up, it's a good thing. When I was at MHS my freshman year they had me in a reading class before PT and I would read and be late for PT so finally they had to put PT before reading. I've always loved to read, I hope my next pca will like going into barns and noble and the library. Beth told me that this summer she'll be able to drive so she can drive so I'll have some company, I know my mom won't trust a young person driving my van. I like going to places like that it takes my mind off what has been bugging me and helps me refocus. I want Ann my dds worker to find me a volunteer job so I don't need to think of the things that I can't do but be focused on the things that I can do. When I see my power chair in the morning it frustrates me I use to be able to get in bed when ever I wanted. But I can go to more places myself and I don't need help, my new power chair is going to have recline so when I need to lay down I can. I hope that the foot plate is softer, this one isn't and my heels are hurting. But that's from the spasms, I am hoping the botox will help as much as I hate it afterwards it does help me. Joel is talking how every bad thing in our lives turns to be a good one such as my dad's cancer, Jorma how Lacy ran to Mary's and my power chair got me to the Christian coffee house 4 years ago and how I am a born again Christian. I am glad that I don't listen to all the bad music or swear any more, now I'm waiting for a good boyfriend.
Everything I Need
Kutless
When every step is so hard to take
And all of my hope is fading away
When life is a mountain that I can not climb
You carry me, Jesus carry me.
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
Dawn & I talked last night, and I was telling her that I gave Bryan my number and I could tell that she wanted to smack me. I love her she's like my older sister, we have the same disabilities. My sisters have no idea what it's like to be me but Dawn does and it helps me to have her and that I can go to her.
Today I went to go see my psychologist and she's having surgery so she found me another one who can help me out until she comes back. I deal with allot during my days, now that Steph is getting married she's more focused on the wedding. After Ellen I went to barns and noble and I saw my friend Shawn there and I was out for 9 hours today I've been out allot this week but it keeps me busy because usually I do the same thing so Steph said that starting next week on Monday's & Wednesday's I am going out and it's right next to the park so I can make a peanut butter and jelly and have it for lunch and bring my book. I wish that I could check out books from the Leominster Library but I can't they have a bigger library than my town. My town's library is small and I can't get good books. That's why I want to move to Leominster I would be close to the library & barns and noble.
I like having busy days and busy weeks, when I'm here my nights go so slow and there's nothing to do here. I am glad that I went to barns and noble. I get to see my friend Shawn who helped me get my diploma. Steph and I were going to the park but then she got frustrated with a personal issue so she didn't even want to go there. I am really enjoying my book by Joel Osteen I read over 100 pages. When I get into a good book I can't put it down I try but my brain never shuts up, it's a good thing. When I was at MHS my freshman year they had me in a reading class before PT and I would read and be late for PT so finally they had to put PT before reading. I've always loved to read, I hope my next pca will like going into barns and noble and the library. Beth told me that this summer she'll be able to drive so she can drive so I'll have some company, I know my mom won't trust a young person driving my van. I like going to places like that it takes my mind off what has been bugging me and helps me refocus. I want Ann my dds worker to find me a volunteer job so I don't need to think of the things that I can't do but be focused on the things that I can do. When I see my power chair in the morning it frustrates me I use to be able to get in bed when ever I wanted. But I can go to more places myself and I don't need help, my new power chair is going to have recline so when I need to lay down I can. I hope that the foot plate is softer, this one isn't and my heels are hurting. But that's from the spasms, I am hoping the botox will help as much as I hate it afterwards it does help me. Joel is talking how every bad thing in our lives turns to be a good one such as my dad's cancer, Jorma how Lacy ran to Mary's and my power chair got me to the Christian coffee house 4 years ago and how I am a born again Christian. I am glad that I don't listen to all the bad music or swear any more, now I'm waiting for a good boyfriend.
Everything I Need
Kutless
When every step is so hard to take
And all of my hope is fading away
When life is a mountain that I can not climb
You carry me, Jesus carry me.
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You
You are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
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