My legs have been broken for 2 weeks

The other day my mom was telling me that Steph will do 30 hours a week, but if I'm going to volunteer than I will only want one during the night because I will want to do things and not shop. Steph is getting married July 21st, Chad and her want kids and she wants to go back to school. I want to do something fun and excited and something new, I need something new. I am bored of doing the same thing. I don't mind going to Wal-Mart Target, Market Basket. I need a pca who likes to read, go to libraries and things like that. I am almost done my Joyce Meyer book, I've always loved to read and I probably always will love to read. I can read up to 100 pages a day. At MHS in my freshman year, I had reading before psychical therapy and I would always be late for it. I would get so into the reading that I would forget about going to pt. Dave was in that class, now we don't even talk. I barely talk to anyone from MHS anymore. They've moved on with their lives and it's time that I move on with mine but I need my Lacy with me. She's helped me in so many ways, since I've been gone for two weeks she hasn't been the same. I can't do that to her, Dale agreed and I'm sure that Dawn will agree too.
My mom and Jorma came by and got McDonalds for dinner,  I know when I go home on Wednesday it's going to be the same thing. She'll watch her shows, go upstairs watch her Finnish shows and I'll get left downstairs again. When Jorma wasn't in our lives everything was so different, she wanted me in her life. But now my mom has friends and they go out to eat with them. Two weeks ago when I broke my legs my mom got mad but she'll never understand the rejection that I get from her. It also hurts how Miia wants me to leave Lacy behind and forget about her, but Lacy is my life and she helps me. I can't ditch Lacy that wouldn't be fair for her or I. I love Lacy way to much, I miss her allot. I miss when she would sit in my room when I would read or do my quotes, I always had someone there. I want to hold and hug her and tell her that I missed her allot. I know that she won't leave me alone and when I go places she'll wonder am I coming back or not? Two weeks ago when I was leaving to the library I said "I'll be back baby" and when I didn't come back she was sad. She won't go in my bed, play with her toys or anything anymore. She needs me just as much as I need her, I wish Miia would understand that I can't leave her.
Tomorrow I get to go see Lacy, she is going to be so happy. I miss her allot, I know when she sees me she is going to go nuts and her tail is going to wag and everything. I will play with her and talk to her, and she'll love it. She will love Wednesday when I am home for good, when my mom and Jorma go to bed she sleeps upstairs she use to sleep in our bed. It makes me wonder if God ever took me she would become a very sad baby. I love her so much, two weeks ago when I left I didn't know that I would break my legs. She always looks so sad when I am leaving when I return she goes nuts. I will have my mom find my camera and I'll have her put it on video mode and when I go into the house she'll cry and wine. Yesterday when Dale was here she was explain to her friend that when we would ask Lacy if she wanted to go see Grandma Mary she would get so happy. I know when I start to volunteer she'll miss me, it's a good feeling to have someone missing me. My mom is so busy with her life and when I come home from somewhere she isn't excited to see me but Lacy goes nuts. She loves when it's bed time, we always need to give her a cookie because she steals my blankets and the pillows. In the mornings she always brings me a toy, then she spreads them all over the house. She wasn't cute at first but now she's very cute, I am glad that I did ask God for a friend 7 years ago. Who ever dropped her off on March 8th 2005 was an angel, they'll never know how much she means to me. She got me to accept my colostomy and she got me off my anti depressants twice. Like I've said before 4 years ago when the doctors told me that I wouldn't get off them, when I went home I said  "God and Lacy got me off them once now do it again" and they did and I will only depend on God and Lacy for my anti depressants God is a better doctor and Lacy is his helper 
Before I go see Lacy tomorrow I am going to church I need it, I miss it allot too. I haven't gone in two weeks. After church I need to go to Market Basket and buy some yogurt, chicken noodle soup more drink packets. The food here isn't the greatest, in the mornings I have my carnation instant breakfast but lunch and dinner isn't good at all I am sick of grill cheese. I'm going to ask the pastor if I need to take any special classes to be baptized, as I've been baptized when I was a baby. I get to see allot of people I am excited to go to church. I will also bring my camera and I'll post the pictures of Lacy and I tomorrow!

Rise
Shawn McDonald
Yes I will rise
Out of these ashes, rise
From this trouble I have found
And this rubble on the ground
I will rise
(X2)

Cause He who is in me
Is greater than I will ever be
And I will rise
(X2)


Sometimes my heart is on the ground
And hope is nowhere to be found
Love is a figment I once knew
And yet I hold on to what I know is true

Chorus

Well I keep on coming to this place
That I don't know quite how to face
So I lay down my life in hopes to die
That somehow I might rise