I called Ann to have her check out how long the shared living list is, when I come home from some where my mom goes right upstairs. It's not a good feeling either. My hospital bed came in and Steph went to go lay down and she said "it's so comfortable" I got new sheets and a new blanket. I am going to start volunteering soon too, I am excited about that. I will be helping them with money, social, writing skills.
My mom did give me $40 to buy new sheets and things like that for my
bed, my mom even tried out my bed and she said that it was comfortable
too. My nurse who comes to change my catheter she tried so many times to
get my hospital bed but she never got through to them but when I called
I got it. I'm really excited about volunteering and helping lower
functional disabled people it will make me forget about my problems. As
I've said before I was supposed to go in one but I am so thankful that
God let my colostomy happen other wise I would be in one, I would get
bored there.So tonight I started to read this book and it had swears in them and right when I saw the swear word I won't read it. I never thought that I would look up bible verses or anything like that either, I inspire allot of people & I'm glad that I can inspire people. I've been through so much in my 29 years, God has been with me threw it all. I remember wondering why was I disabled and my sister's weren't. But now I know the reason for being disabled it's to save other people, just as the pastor's friend he had cancer and was able to do so much for himself but once he got the cancer he wasn't able to do the things anymore. I want to meet his friend and tell him what I've been through, I was telling Steph that I am getting baptized on June 10th. I will invite my family to see if they'll come to it but I highly doubt it they are so focused on religion that try my church. I am sure that Suvi and Brad would like it, but Brad doesn't like church he doesn't like to go. Christmas 2010 he said "I can't go my knee hurts" I said to him "my body always hurts and I go every week". I know if my dad was alive he wouldn't have let Suvi marry him because he loves to drink I have no desire to drink anymore.
My room looks huge, I had a full size bed and my hospital bed is a twin size bed my heels are going to feel allot better. I am hoping that I can get the botox and phenol soon I am sick of the pain and spasming. My legs are always spasming and they are digging into the foot plate right now. I know my mom will want my shower done tomorrow but I am going to have Steph give me a sponge bath. My mom tried out my bed earlier today and even she said it's comfortable too. I haven't gotten into it yet but it looks very comfortable. Lacy can even jump into it so I am sure she'll love it. I got a new blanket and sheets too, I'll probably fall asleep quickly tonight. Yesterday at church I asked someone if they could find someone to come to botox and phenol with Steph because she can't handle watching me get needles. But the injections they help as much as they hurt me, I hope my new chair the foot plate will be allot better. My spasms have broken the air bubbles that were on my foot plate, before I got the baclofen pump I was allot more spastic and I was in more pain. I got the pump in 2007 when the oral medication wasn't helping me anymore. I've gone through so many surgeries in my life time, God knew I was the strongest one out of my sisters who could handle the pain. I was telling Steph about the pastor's friend who got the cancer and can't do things for himself anymore. I want to meet him and tell him what I've been through, my pastor is away for the week so he'll probably email me his friends email. I was telling the pastor that Lacy got me off my anti depressants twice and she got me to accept my colostomy when humans couldn't. He said that animals are good for people, I had no idea that I was going to get her after I asked for a friend on my 22nd birthday. I was coming back from collage and that's when my mom said "we need to stop at Mary's before we go home" and when we did Lacy was there. Steph was telling me that she has no idea how I deal with all the problems such as my pain and spasms, I say "God helps me and Dawn does too". I keep asking God for a boyfriend who lives close to me I don't want a boyfriend who lives far away. I know in his timing he'll find one for me. When I was dating Chris he would call me at nights and it helped me when I was spasming and in allot of pain. I want a boyfriend who could take me out and spend time with me I miss getting hugs so I'll keep asking God for a boyfriend he's answered my other prayer requests so I need to be patient.
I Lift My Hands
Chris Tomlin
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms, a fortress for the weak
(Chorus)
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Your grace that washes over me
Chorus X2
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes
Chorus X2
You are faithful, God, forever
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
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