Five more days until home

I wonder why Ann my dds worker said that I was depressed, she has no idea what I go through. Sometimes I have 3 doctor's appointments, I live in pain and spasm, I need help taking showers getting in and out of bed, getting dressed. I even told that to my doctor, they don't spend anytime with me they only see me for a few seconds and then their done. I am not sad, I get frustrated just like everyone else. Just because my legs they don't work I still get discouraged and frustrated just like everyone else does. Miia my oldest sister has been texting me and telling me "you need to ask Ann about a group home" she really doesn't want me at home either. But oh well it gets boring at home, I just don't like how Miia is texting me when she wasn't before.
Diane came by today and we were talking how I flipped over and how I need to call the eye doctor. Miia has been texting me about moving out and leaving Lacy behind, but I love Lacy way to much to leave her behind. She's like my baby, and she's not happy without me, I know my mom wants me out. But I can't and I'm not leaving Lacy behind I miss her and she misses me too. She looks all around where am I? she won't go in our room anymore, she isn't happy. Miia texts back and says "Lacy will be fine you need a life too". When no one is at home I can go to Lacy and talk to her and I miss her her allot. I know when I start to volunteer and she looks around for me she's going to be confused am I coming back, two weeks ago when I didn't come back she wasn't her self. I always tell her "I'm coming back" and this time when I didn't come back she's sad. I can't leave her. I am excited to start my volunteer job, I will be doing Monday-Thursday and helping them with money, social, and reading skills. I have a new pca too, my mom is fine with the girl being there from 3-8 that way my mom can go watch her shows and be with Jorma. I wish that she would spend time with me more but she's busy with her life.
Dale came to visit me today and I was telling her how Miia wants me to leave Lacy behind and start my own life without her, but I can't do that I love Lacy way to much. Dale bought me a milk shake and we talked, and I was telling her how I don't want to be healed because Al the guy who got me to be a born again Christian he doesn't go to church anymore. I don't want to end up like him, I hope that I can still get baptized on June 10th. I was baptized as a baby but I didn't understand what it meant when I was a baby, Lutherans baptize their babies and they have all these rules and if they only knew that I was getting baptized they would freak out. I was telling Dale that on my last day that I am at my house I am going to be completely honest with my mom and Jorma why I'm moving out. I know they won't change and my mom will still do her own thing when I go back home,. I can't wait to see Lacy on Wednesday, I will have my mom bring my camera and I'll put it on video mode and when I see her she'll go nuts. I miss my little baby, she was always so happy in the mornings to see me she would jump in bed with me and get nice and comfortable. I will end up laying in bed allot and I know that she'll join me. I've met allot of people here, this morning this lady and I saved this guy and he said when he gets better that he'll come to my church. I'll be happy, I like to save people, that's why I am disabled. I like talking to other people about Jesus, tonight as I was filling one of my drink bottles a guy that the lady and I saved he asked me "what does 3:16 mean?" and I said "For God so loved the world he gave his only son who ever believes in him shall not Parrish but have ever lasting life John 3:16" he said "I wanted to get a tattoo but I didn't know what to put on it". On my other arm I am going to put "dad" in Finnish. Dale said that will mean in two things my dad who was on earth and my dad in heaven too
My casts weigh so much, I am in bed now and I can feel my whole right leg twist. It's not a good feeling either, the nursing and cnas leave so fast. That they really don't have time to listen to me, that's one good thing about my mom she listens to me. But here they are so fast to leave because they have other patience and they don't have time. My heel hurts in these casts too, it already has a blister on it and the cast doesn't help it. Thank God they come off in two weeks, it's not easy being here becauuse they wake me up at 6 to give me my meds and then they get me up at 7 for breakfast. It's not easy getting out of my wheelchair either. The 11-7 shift knows how to position me better, I am just uncomfortable how that heal is always hurting now. I miss when my life wasn't this hard.
Open Skies
David Crowder Band
Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company of all who love the King
I will dance, I will sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud, life my voice and shout
From where I am
From where I've been
He's been there with me
He's built a monument
His very people
So let his people
Sing, sing, sing

And it's so wonderful
Just to be here now

Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company
Of all who love the King

Praise Him under open skies
Everything breathing praising God
In the company of all who love the King
Let us dance, let us sing
It could be heavenly
Turn the music loud and sing

Lift your voice to heaven
Lift up your head and sing
To the One who gave his love
This is our offering
Lift your voice to heaven
Lift up your head and sing
To the One who gave His son
Here our lives we bring

From wherever you are
Wherever you've been
He's been there
So let his people sing

And it's so wonderful to be here now
Wherever you are wherever you've been
He's been there