I really hope that I can get my phone fixed, at nights when I'm trying to read in peace the phone always rings. Yesterday my aunt was here and my mom told her that I'm getting a new chair and she said "your mom told me you're getting a new chair", I wish my mom didn't tell everyone about my life. My aunt she didn't need to know about my new chair when she told me that I went away, 3 years ago when they all thought I tried to kill myself my aunt came in my hospital room and said "you shouldn't have fired Dale". It's never peaceful here the stupid phone is always ringing.
I hope that I get the hospital bed, this one isn't comfortable anymore. I can't fix myself in it and I know when I get my moms attention at nights she doesn't like it, it's been nice without Jorma when he's here I usually need to say "mom" 3 times but with him being gone I only need to say it once. Sometimes I really wonder if he tells her to ignore me and that I'll be fine. I like how he's not here I don't need to see him in his boxers and no shirt on. When he comes back I will need to shut the door a little so that I don't see him walking around like that. It creeps me out and he's not even supposed to be living here and it doesn't bother my sisters that he walks around here like that. I wouldn't mind if it was my dad but it's not and I don't like seeing him walking around like that. That's why I really want the hospital bed so that I can fix myself and my mom won't need to come down I know that she wants her sleep, if she would allow me to have a over night pca it would help her but she doesn't want it. I am going to find a pca from church who could come on Saturday's and Sunday's I would have them do the showers too so that it's not all on Steph.
My mom got all bent out of shape because I didn't get the receipt for my phone and she's been in a bad mood all day today, this morning my catheter bag broke and she got mad about that. She's so moody lately, I think that she misses Jorma and that's why she's acting the way she is and it's not fair for us. I have deal with it, Maiju called her and she got mad at her. So my mom went for a shower and she didn't answer the phone she had me call Maiju and she picked up and said "mom is still mad at me?" and said "yes" and Maiju laughed I said "pray for me". Maiju and Suvi told me to have Steph clean the fridge two weeks ago Maiju and my niece Ella came and Ella wanted some milk and Maiju said "have auntie Minna check the milk before she pours it" and I am so thankful that I did because if I didn't than Ella would have had bad milk and you can't trust the fridge or freezer here. My mom doesn't like to throw anything away and we get a good laugh out of it. But my mom is mad at me for not getting the receipt but tomorrow Steph and I will go get it all fixed and hopefully than my mom won't be mad at Maiju or I.
I really hope that Dawn my triple trouble can sleep over on Monday today I was so frustrated and she sent me a text saying "I love you lots" and I am so thankful that I do have her. When no one else understands what it's like to be this disabled I can go to her and when my sisters don't want to listen or my mom I can go to her and she'll always be willing to listen to me. She is blind a has a guide dog and Lacy and Marius (her dog) they get along. We always have so much fun together and I haven't seen her since December and I miss her, we text and we've done some bad things in the past but we don't anymore. We use to listen to all this bad music, but we've grown up and we don't do any of that anymore. We still cause clean fun but we have no halo's. I try to convince people I have one but they tell me to keep dreaming, I consider Dawn as my older sister because she is. She knows that I can't handle any more weddings I've gone to many I can't handle anymore. The hardest wedding was Suvi's because I knew that she wouldn't keep her promise I knew that she wasn't going stop by she's still in the "honey moon stage" but she'll go to her sister in law Kelly's and to Maiju's but when it comes to me I'm just her disabled sister.
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