My dad would be proud of me

My dad would be proud of me, all the things that I do myself. I go grocery shopping, I go to the library, I still live even though I am disabled and I don't let my disabilities stop me. When I go do all those things myself God probably tells him "your daughter is a pretty amazing girl" even at Horizon the pastor has come up to me and said "you're a pretty impressive young lady because you come here even when you're in pain and spasm and you live". I say "my dad taught me how to live and he did every thing even though he was very sick" and they all say "you had a very good teacher and he would be very proud of you" so many people say that he would be proud of me. His cancer taught me that I can't still live even though I am this disabled and to keep living and enjoying life. I do enjoy life, I go out and I want to help other disabled people so that they can depend on themselves instead of their parents or group home pca's. When I go to the grocery store with my mom or Steph they don't get me things they make me get it for myself because they know that I can do it. The world needs to stop looking at our wheelchairs and look past them because we are more than disabled, yes people have disabilities in their minds but not every disabled person does. Dawn, Jenny, Dave and I our disabilities are in our lower part of us and we are still smart. Last night I read 50 pages and I'll be done the book tonight or tomorrow, when I went into the life skills program none of my friends liked that they hated how I was put in there. But maybe it was to show me that I need to stick up for disabled people so that they get treated the right way and not always looked down on.

When I go places myself I like it, I forget that I am disabled and that's why I'm hoping that Ann my dds worker can get my job back at the arc so I can help disabled people. I really miss it there and when I was helping them I forgot that I was disabled and that was an awesome thing and I miss it.  When the clients see me at the library or some where they always say "we miss you, can you please come back?" and even the workers they even say that they miss me. I felt good about helping them out and I know that I made a impact on them and I miss it there when I am all dressed I am going to ask Ann if she got my job back if she didn't get it at the arc then maybe some where else there are other day programs in Fitchburg and I really miss working there and I want to go back there and it helps me I really need that. Ann said that she would put me with money skills and reading skills because I am good with money and reading skills. When I go out Steph and my mom always make sure that I have a $5, $10 $20.

More and more seizure's are happening and it's scary because when I go places myself I can have one but thankfully I have God who protects me. I can't let the seizure's stop me from doing what I do best by going out, that wouldn't be good either. I don't let allot of things stop me and that's one of the greatest lessons that my dad taught me was not to let my disabilities stop me, I know that I have God with me whrre ever I go so I know that nothing would happen to me. Other disabled people they need the same confidence as I do I'm not scared to do anything in the past I've taken the train to Dawn's, I go every where and I'm not scared. That was the greatest lessons that I was taught if it wasn't for my dad I wouldn't be this out going and I would probably depend on my mom and everyone else for my life but I don't and I never will. I like being independent it makes me feel good about myself and I know when Jorma comes back I can stay out later on Friday nights that's one good thing about him, since my mom doesn't have the confidence in herself to drive at night she only wants me out until 6. But if I wasn't disabled I wouldn't be in the house on Friday nights. When I go into a seizure every thing goes numb and I get dizzy too and I get a bad taste in my mouth too but thankfully they only last for 5-10 seconds

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I wish my body wasn't this spastic it hurts more at nights and the pain is worse too and it gets pretty frustrating being me, but my dad taught me well. He taught me to trust God more than these doctor's the doctor's can only do so much but God can do so much more and it's true. Look at all the blessings that he's given me, Lacy, Dawn, Dave and friends that I have that I can go too that's amazing. I can't go to my sisters and explain to them what it's like to be disabled because they wouldn't understand what it's like be this disabled like I am. I can go to Dawn and she is my older sister I can go to her any time and if every thing works out then on Friday she'll sleep over until Sunday and my town will need allot of prayer but we're better now, we don't swear or listen to all this bad music. When Dale first was working with me in 2006 I had half naked men on my walls and I swore and listened to all this bad music and when she left I had postive quotes and bible verses and I didn't swear. The last night of shake a leg I got drunk and I still don't remember that night and when Dawn shows me picture's I don't remember the last night.  I'll always be my dad's chocolate queen and probably always will be and he probably laughs every time God says "Mikko there goes your chocolate queen again" and he probably laughs and says "good for her". Steph and Dale and who ever comes in my past will probably have a long talk with him. My back is so sore right now because of the rain tomorrow, then Friday night it's going to rain and thunder when Dale worked for me she said they didn't need a weather man they had my body to tell them when my body was going to spasm