last night I twisted my shoulder, my mom was putting my pj's on and I went to bridge for her and I felt my whole shoulder twist. I don't know what is wrong with my body, today I am going to see the botox doctor and I am hoping that I can get botox I need it. My legs and back are so tight, my tendons in my back are so tight and my head hurts from the tendon's being so tight. Ice is the only thing that helps my tendon shrinks the tendon I hate how my body is always spasming. It gets pretty stressful being me, I wish I had friends around here all my church friends they all are in college and have lives. I really want to meet new friends but I am limited because I can't go out myself. At church they have these focus groups but I can't get in their houses because of my wheelchair, I can only go to the mall and places like that. I need to find friends that I can hang out with and have fun with. I can't do the same thing every night and sit in my room every night that gets boring. I need to be distracted from my pain, my body is always spasming and I need to be distracted.
I like my new phone, I am still getting to use to it. It's still odd texting on it, but it gives my hands a work out. I can see the phone, I can't see color's good and my old phone was black and I can't see colors. I get black, blue confused I like when I do the different colors on here I have a chart where I can read the color's. My favorite color's are, teal, pink, sky blue and purple. I want this pink and purple swirl color for my new chair I will have to have Steph pick it out I don't want to pick out the wrong color. On my phone I can go on aim, check my email, go on my blog sites and I really like it it's just taking me time to get use to it, it has a built in camera and I thanked my mom for it.
I went to the doctor who can do botox and she's going to do it in my neck and legs, I was telling her how I am always in pain. So she said that she'll help me out and I am so happy, I hate having the pain and spasm too. It gets pretty frustrating, the things I go through between my mom is busy with everyone else, the pain, the spasms but God chose me to be disabled my sisters would given up by now. But I am fighter and God knew that I was strong enough to handle them, the hardest thing was accepting my colostomy but God sent Lacy who is right beside me because I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and she loves the crust. I always need to save the crust because at nights when my mom is putting me in bed Lacy likes to steal the blankets so that's how we move her and it's a good way to move her.
I really hope that Ann my dds worker can get more pca hours so on Saturday's and Sunday's I can have someone. I hope that she can get my job back too, I miss working there as I've said before I like helping disabled people out. If I can't work there I would ask Ann if I could help out at a group home and help them out. I need something else to do at nights, I can't always sit in my room every night and do the same thing every night that gets boring. My mom would rather watch TV, or talk on the phone. I've asked her if she would come in my room and she said "I will fall asleep in your bed". I need and want to feel good about myself and if going to work in a group home or in a day program or both would be fine. I just need something else to do during the days, Steph doesn't like going to the library or barns and noble and she doesn't like the puzzle books either. But our moms are the same they both talk bad about us, when Pam her mom was working with me. She was always telling my mom "you shouldn't let her drive the van" and all this other junk and when I told Steph what she said then Pam and my mom got on each others side and Steph and I felt bad. Pam told my mom all what I told her and after that I couldn't trust her. I am going to call Ann after the nurse leaves and ask her if she was able to get my job back and I really would like that, I need something else to during the days.
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