I really wish I could get my phone working, with the music and everything it's saying that it is missing some card and that means I have to go back to the metro store and have them fix it. I wish my phone would work good, at nights when my mom is blabbing on the phone I like to listen to music the phone rings so I always have my music. My mom doesn't interact with me, last night when I kept asking her to put more tape on the quotes she really didn't want too and that's not fair if my sisters were to ask her to do something then she would. It gets frustrating how she only wants to do the easy things when I ask her to take things off my walls she doesn't want to do that either I need to move out and leave the past behind.
It's cool how Dave has been thinking about him and I, Chris doesn't talk to him he's so busy with his life now. I am happy that Dave will talk to me and he called me on Saturday night and he couldn't call me yesterday because his mom was doing the over night shift. I remember when I had study class with him and he would follow me around every where. He helped me allot when my dad died and I miss him and I want to be with him and he wants to be with me too so that's a nice feeling to have. He'll probably call me tonight and I will call him at 4 and I know that he'll be happy and then he'll probably call me at 11:45 tonight. I was telling him that he needs to blog and it will help his frustrations out and that blogging helps someone and he said he would start a blog :)
Today I was telling Steph how my mom didn't want to put the tape on the back of the bible verses and quotes instead she put the tape around my computer desk. My mom was also telling me how Steph needs to take better care of important papers, such as the cell phone bill. Steph was saying if it's that important to her then she should get it and they have it record. Tomorrow we're going to look at these really nice condo's, her mom doesn't like how she spends time with Chad and my mom won't spend time with me because she's so busy with her life. I need to move out and move on, Steph said she won't tell my new pca's about my past, like Maiju did to Steph in July. God has forgiven me and I wish that my whole family would forgive me but they won't and probably never will. Finnish people hold grudges against people, and it's not fair for me. My mom was on the phone for an hour with my aunt tonight then she had to call Suvi and Maiju and I know where I belong in her life and sadly I don't fit into her life. I know when Jorma comes back then she won't ask me to go shopping she can't do anything by herself and I don't know how Jorma's holding up because usually he can't be without her if she or him have an appointment he needs to go.
I am so happy that I have Dave that I can talk too, he remembers on 12/23/99 when I called him and said "my dad died" and when I went back to MHS, I was so excited on Wednesday that my dad was coming to visit me and when he didn't show up I became sad. Dave and I broke up after I went out with Bryan and I am so glad that I'm done with him too. I don't miss him at all. He would make up all these lies and all this other junk. I get to see Dave sometime next month and I am so happy, I like being around him and he likes being around me too he told me that he's been thinking about him and I for the last few weeks and that made me really happy, I miss being in a relationship. Seeing all my sisters married and I'm single that doesn't make me comfortable at all being around them. I remember last Christmas all my sisters were there with their husbands and I was with Chris at the time but he wasn't there with me. It's weird seeing Suvi's wedding ring she's still in the honey moon stage and it's all about her and Brad. But when Maiju or her sister in law Kelly ask her to do something she does and it's not something that I would do if she was in my shoe's but it's her life if Maiju and Suvi want to ignore me they can, I will move on with my life. They don't have ramps in their houses and sadly I don't think that they would put the ramps on their houses.
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