I wish my mom would bring me to the other church but she doesn't want too, the guy who invited me he'll look for me. I don't bother talking to her because she's impatient when it comes to me talking to her so I stay quiet. I really want to go to the church but my mom doesn't want to bring me there but it's not about her it's about what I want in life. I want and need to live and I can't always stay here and do the same thing every day I know that she doesn't like when I go to barns and noble but I can't always stay here it gets boring here. She doesn't like charging my chair and last night she forgot too so today when I went out I really couldn't move. It gets annoying and she gets so upset about the little things and I'm burnt out by her, she really doesn't spend time with me either she's busy with my sisters and her shows. It's not easy living here and I really want a boyfriend I can't stay in the house every night and do the same thing every night it gets boring but I don't think that she cares. She really doesn't want to hang things up for me either and it gets annoying she has Steph do everything and she use to do my laundry and take my trash out but she doesn't anymore and she'll only do my showers if she needs too. She's so picky about them that I want to say "if you're so concerned with my showers why don't you do them?". Yesterday I was out for two hours and that was it and I got bored and I am 28 and I can't always stay in the house that gets very boring.
Steph and I were talking today and she wants to become my shared living provider on Monday we're going to look for condo's in Leominster near barns and noble. I want to get the heck out of my town, my town has nothing to offer. The library is only open Tuesday's 10-5 Wednesday's & Thursday's 12-7 and Saturday's 10-2 its boring here. I want to live in Leominster so that way I can go to different places and move out of here and I wouldn't see Jorma walk around in his boxers anymore. I need to move out and there is tension at Steph's house too and that's where we get along both of our moms are the same way, she would still go to work and be the main pca and I would hire two more and we would take Lacy. Ann my dds worker is going to try to get my job back at arc, she said that she would have me in money skills where I could teach the clients how to count money. The clients they miss me and I miss them, when I see them at the library they say "we miss you" and they get so excited to see me when I come there. So I need to go back there when I was there I forgot that I was disabled and I need that back. The clients they love me and they would get so excited to see me and I would help them out in writing skills and all these other skills and we took them to Market Basket, the library. At lunch time I would have two clients who I would take care of the day and I had them get their own money out when we would get pizza and it was allot of fun. I would be happy if Ann got my job back there and I could help them out again. I am a very out going person thanks to my dad, if he didn't have cancer I wouldn't be this out going but I don't let my disabilities stop me and I am pretty sure that he would be proud of me and the woman I grew up to be. I go every where and I still live even though I am disabled
Tonight my friend Dave is going to call me, I met him at MHS. In my freshman year in high school I had study class with him and he would study me. He helped me allot when my dad died, I remember calling him and saying "Dave my dad died" and even typing about my dad gives me the goose bumps and I get tears in my eyes. I still miss my dad, when I did the relay for life in memory of him that wasn't easy but he would be proud of the woman that I've turned into be. I'm still his chocolate queen and I will never stop being his chocolate queen either, every time I buy chocolate God must go tell him "Mikko there goes your chocolate queen" and he probably laughs. Dave was the one to hug me when I went back to MHS and the first Wednesday when my dad wasn't there I said to Dave "where's my dad?" and he said "remember he went to heaven?" and I cried.
"Somewhere Out There"
Our Lady Peace
Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I’m waiting for this sky to fall
I’m waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails I’ll wait
I’m praying that you don’t burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know
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